Decent is just a descent. Stop it.

Day 5 of 100

"Your soul is magic. Why are you going after decent?"

This was about two weeks ago. Maybe it was three.
I never put dates on these things. I just write them down.
And sometimes decent looks appealing.
Sometimes decent looks acceptable.
Sometimes decent is safe and secure.
Sometimes... sometimes... decent is a rhythm...
a rhythm that lulls you to sleep.
with the consistent tempo of sameness, over and over and over.
'Decent' is one of the hardest things to let go of.
because there's nothing wrong with it.
It's not broken.
It's not harsh, or pushy, or making some annoying sound.
It just is.
and when it just is....
it's neither amazing.
or exciting.
or inspiring.
or uplifting.
or all the other awesome shit.

and as someone who knows what awesome, amazing, exciting, inspiring, uplifting, life-changing super saiyan fantastical rock star jedi things are and how absolutely incredible that they can be....
'decent'  ... will never make the cut.
it can't.
it won't.
and you can choose your decent things and be satisfied....
but I've lived too deeply for 'decent' to be a long term guest.
and the eviction notice has been served.

I am not a decent person.
And I am no longer available to provide it shelter here.

There will be no settling for decent here among this slice of heaven.

_________________________________________________________


Do you know those times when you don't want to share certain things with anyone?
Because you know they'll be questions.
Or judgments. Or something irrelevant.
It doesn't matter what they think.
and you honestly don't care.
and so you just don't say anything. You don't share anything.
because justifying is irrelevant too.
and you only justify because you think they need that.
but they don't need anything from you.
they don't need anything from you.

so stop giving it to them.

__________________________________________

Got a few screenplay downloads today.
A few more scenes added to this current possible animation film.
getting there...
would be great to come faster, but I guess I'm probably too busy...
maybe a good thing, I'm not swamped with the whole movie in my head...
cause then I wouldn't get all this other stuff finished...
I'd be writing...

In otherworldly news....
I have this mash up of an Avengers story playing in my head...
but it's like a whole different story...
and Dr. Manhatten is in it...
is he even Marvel?? I think he's DC actually... hmm.
But Aquaman is...
and Iron Man.
And Hawkeye.
Anyway...
I also have book 6 playing around too...
and it's rather dark.
like book 6 is looking to be really really dark...
I promise I won't kill Talisyn again though, poor girl.

speaking of... Aquaman comes out soon... Christmas movie time!

Damn... it's like late...
okay, it's almost 10:30...
which is late...
cause meditation time, yo. I got other places to be.
See ya.