So...hello again.
Making this quick (we hope).
I'm rather not fond of this blog anymore and probably will avoid it for quite some time from here on out, or at least until I feel like it is doing more something...than...well, nothing.
Today is an odd day. I'm stuck again between that idea of all powerful 'I can do anything' attitude, and that rather sucky 'I am worthless' attitude. I'm contemplating doing some things that may or may not be risky....and frankly, I don't care. Things like unfriending 95% of my facebook friends who really are not friends...well....I have maybe 2 friends really, the rest (4.98%) are family. And I'm rather forced to keep them...maybe just the ones I actually know (a.k.a. I recognize their name and how they are connected)
Also things like getting a tattoo, cutting my hair, or random things like painting my toenails which is useless since I always wear shoes.
The world is driving me crazy and I have no one to take away the pooling flow of chaos.
Plan on cleaning this sewing room tonight and vacuum too. Then finishing a t-shirt because it is already 95% finished anyway, maybe prepping other things so when I actually get back home from vacation they'll be ready. Not that I'm not home already, but I don't feel guilty for doing nothing majorly productive work-wise the past 5 days. I think I will edit some cowboy pictures too....which I keep forgetting about :P
I will probably read a book I got yesterday too :) and get some straps hot glued to a pair of wings.
Tomorrow I need to water the garden in back and the flowers in front and who knows what else.
I think I will give up on everything too....business-wise, because I can't do it by myself and I need help and no one cares to help...so I guess I won't care either. I'll be like the rest of you who don't care and we can all not care together.
Or I can go and do a bunch of the hard work that I can do and then give up later because I can't do everything. So screw it.
This is what you have driven me to. I hope you are proud. We can all be worthless together.
Or I can sit around and wait for that wonderful moment of divine aspiration and watch things happen for me....but no. The boss man is out on vacation or something, doing whatever it is he does, while I'm whining here in the desert. I'm such a spoiled brat. Not sure why he puts up with me and I'm not sure why I keep acting this way when I know he's freaking busy getting some awesomeness prepared just for me...ugh. I hate waiting and I hate not remembering that I'm just a child and totally have a right to throw a fit.
I have a kitty on my lap. And he is so much cooler than you. Thank you all for your support....not. >:[
So there's this memory I have....and I can't seem to find them. But I know they will come for me. They'll find their way back. And maybe...maybe they will remember who they are...who I am. Because I can't forget. Wake up wake up....perhaps they're still sleeping. Wake up wake up. I miss them. I miss them all. Find me. Carry me up above the clouds and we can all dance in the sky together. Where are you.....I'm in the desert, come find me. The sands scour and the sun burns and memory doesn't fade when it holds onto that love....and I walk in this sea of endless stars....without you.
