Happy E - STIR

Oh yes,
the rare times I title a blog post before writing it....
stirring up those Energies... those inner g's
moving those E-motions.... those emotive ions...
flowing.
this is real.
this is real...
I have proof.

THIS ^^^
is in my driveway.
you already know what it is...
I told you what it would be a short time ago....
and today... I brought it home.

How I would love to tell you these things...
how I would love to teach you.
All I can tell you is that you can do anything.
You can have anything.
You already are everything.
You already have everything.
You are complete.
Trust the Universe. Trust yourself.
It's simple...
--- Choose to.

________________________
I also dug up dandelions out of the front yard...
I got paid 50 cent each! I made over $20.
I also found a four leaf clover.... well....
not really... it came to me actually.
It was FOR me.
It gave itself to me....
because plants talk. In case you didn't know.

I talked about movies for 2 hours.
and watched a few videos.
I need to do my video challenge still
and will have to start on bowflex tomorrow.
and deep clean that gorgeous thing in my driveway.
....
need to work on Victory script tomorrow.
I have like tons of fillers the muse gave me...
cause she's cool like that and handles things like a boss!
____________________________________________

gotta go do stuff, see you later peeps!
yeah, the marshmallow chicks and bunnies!
all squishy and bright, a sugary delight...kinda
.... no, not really.... April fools.... I don't actually like peeps all that much.

Stirring up trouble....

Just a day of insights and silence.
but with music and a movie and videos.

Somethings churning lately.
a substance on the inside.
writhing in slow motion.
I feel you my friend.
Did I wake you from your slumber.
Did I jar you enough to stir.
Wake up.
Come out of me.
Come into the light.
I'll carry you, take my hand.
Let me lead you, I'll show you the way.

I can feel them. I can see them.
those old fears that still try to form to reality.
I sit with them.
Come out of me. Let me see you.
You've hidden in the darkness for too long.
Wake up.
Let me show you the truth.
Let me carry you. The light is warm.

trembling.
Is it an earthquake? Or is it something growing?
Pushing upward? falling downward?
what are you?
I know you're here. I can feel you.
Reveal yourself to me.
We are courage. We are strong.
Let us carry you. You're not alone.
It is safe. You are loved.
Come out of me. Come into the light.
Trust.
___________________________________________

Trust.


yeah.....just that for today.

Umm... dive in

What just happened?!
yeah, I know spring got here and all...but no...
something else.
Whatever it is..
I WOULD LOVE MORE OF THAT.
MORE OF THIS.
Whatever this is, I love it!
MORE PLEASE, right here, thank you.
Fill the plate, baby.

So...
My oldest has a driver's license.
Which means I don't have to chauffeur.

Victory is done.
Though I'm in the waiting period before editing.
The Fox Prince is done, but I may re-edit it and shorten parts...maybe

I'm writing another one, but it's not mine.
It's about 1940's mafia and mobster gangster female stuff.

Figured out my script reward...yeah, it's legit.

Still looking for a way to Hollywood in June.
a plane ticket.
a hotel stay for 4 nights.
I'll be glad to take you with me if you can offer assistance ($$$)
anyone?
no, it's not for script writing....
at least not that I can foresee??

Still on exercise challenge, although it's almost midnight
and I haven't done today's yet.... whoops.
I was writing a screenplay, yo!

Still on my video challenge too, but haven't done it yet either, lol.
ack! I'll get there! In a minute.

Other stuff too, but I gotta keep stuff to myself sometimes, yo.
 ____________________________________________________


Past-hacking.
.... this is awesome.
I highly recommend it.
that's all I have to say.

Here.

Earth.
The threads beneath your feet as you tread upon the solids.
Walking this world but not being a part of it.
You bright soul. Carrying this carcass around trying to find yourself.
You're hidden away beneath the surface.
Deep deep inside, under the covers of darkness.
The earth reels with violence and breaks apart.
You try to pull yourself together. Stitching yourself back up.
Time after time, you recloak and withdraw from the sun.
Lonely earth. Lonely planet.
You must let her go.
Let all of her go... you cannot keep her.
Give to Caesar what it Caesar's. To God what is God's.
Give the earth her creation. Return her land to her. Return her piece.
You can't carry it forever.
Then return home. Back to the sun. Back to the Sun.
Back to yourself.
Mighty one.
You can't stay.

come back to us
rid yourself of these things that weigh you down
that make you earthbound
release
gravity has no power over you
come to us as you are
not with what you carry
not with all that you carry
....
divide the world between you.
separate the wheat from the tares
leave behind the chaff
you can't bring it where you are going
it is too heavy

Royals do not carry burdens.
Little spirit.
Stars do not wear cloaks.
Souls do not wear ideas, or thoughts, or perceptions.
Nor do they carry opinions, or judgements.
Those things belong to the Earth.
Leave them there.
Come with us.
_______________________________________________

Hi.
The new moon has risen.
Can... no... Will.. you feel it?
Will you come with me?
Will you make your life grand?
Will you?
Will you?
The night has come and I must travel on.
carry me...

Being artistic

Level 31
Artistic photoshoot.
There's one I've been wanting to do....
think now's the time.

I did get that blasted garden done though.
oh shit...it's 7pm...
no wonder I'm hungry...
I'll be back later. Need to cook and eat before I starve to death.
__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I'm back.
Still awaiting my laptop battery.
going to start book 5 before it drives me insane.
1/8 through with Victory. Will get it done in time.

Spent over an hour making a logo for someone...
want to see...
sure you do...

Pretty, huh?
I think it was supposed to be 'The Joy Love Bus'
if so I'll fix it. But it's a start.

I painted this week... a lot.
But I have 7 new pieces of artwork on my wall, HAHAHHA!
Productivity for the win! 
____________________________________________________

Um...got stuff to do and then work on Victory.
i'm sure to think of something to write one of these days.
Ha!
Later peepers of iris holes.

You've come this far....shall you turn back now?

 Well.....this is new.
Automatic writing is where you write direct from
your subconscious stream, not your own words, but
those from something/one else.
What would speaking from something/one else be?
Yourself, but a divided part of yourself??

Channeling.
I think that's the closest word they use to describe it.
I'm going more jedi, it appears.
I'm 8 for 8, even though the clairaudience only
pops up rarely.....like 4 or 5 times....ever.

Observe.
Listen.
Feel.

the only things I'm supposed to be doing
I've accepted.
and have stepped across the threshold.
unto the throne.
upon the crown.
into the all.
or so they...I...say??
____________________________________________
So yeah.
My life.
interesting at times, I do think.

Still doing my 4wk exercise challenge.
Still doing my 30 day video challenge.
Victory screenplay is now set to be finished by spring.
yeah...next week.
Fox Prince should have copyright by end of week. as of 30 minutes ago.

I think Laser Racers (title pending) will be next.

wall has been painted.

I figured out my script completion reward...
I'll tell you more next time. Need to gather info.
My video reward may end up being a Film Festival pass.....maybe.
not sure I want to go unless they get some good workshops posted.

_________________________________________________
yep....
going to paint some Elf Quest artwork...
and one of Storie.
will browse for ideas tomorrow.


____________________________________________

knock knock....

Epiphany....

"Stop hoarding your money. Invest it fully in your creativity, your growth, donate it, etc. This actually starts an energy where you can receive it much faster, too. Put it into experiences that expand you, and you move faster and faster in a magical place of flow. The more you release it, the faster you receive it." -- more or less improvised from Kyle Cease.

Instead of using the excess to pay toward debt....
Don't
Stop giving the debt life, by acknowledging it.
Stop acting like it's real.
It's not.
At least not anymore.

Live like it doesn't exist...
and it won't.
_______________________________________________

Ugh, videos....
I'm doing this 30 day video challenge.
of myself.
Just did day 7
I'm not sure where this will lead, but I'm hoping for something.
 Still doing the 4wk exercise challenge too. on day 10 I think.
Still working on getting the garden dug out...
been too cold, still have 2 boxes left.
Victory is ready for screenplay writing.
The Fox Prince is still with proofreader.
Painting art things...not done yet.
finished Health book with the youngest.
Now to do Geology and Consumer Finance before July gets here.
All else taken care of. Not much happening.
I need a laptop battery.
I want to start book 5...there's no way I'm writing it
on this computer.... keys are too far apart.
Screenwriting is under 150 pages, so I can deal...
novels are usually over 300
plus my camera will only record 20min. of video...sooo
laptop must get new battery.
_____________________________________________

Last one in line

Day 90 of 90!!
---
---
Last day. Not that I won't write on occasion...
but I don't have to.
Happy Birthday to me.
I have coffee, I slept in, I sold my canopy thing too.
I'll be picking up my bowflex tomorrow.
and I'm sure there's a few other things I can't think of a the moment.
__________________________________________

So...insight of the day...
----- Focus on the Outcome. -----
not the steps, not the process, not the means
choose an outcome and decide on it.
simple.
then everything else will align...like magic.

I've got some things to do here in a bit and can't stay long.
really working on not browsing for stuff or whatevertheheck I do.
It takes up too much time. I've got better things to work on.
for reals.
So I'm going to cut this short.
I want to get started on some other things.

I guess I don't have much to say today.
I'm currently working on a few more commitment challenges
and I no longer have a reason to be on here right now.
bye

Train your mind....

Day 89
---
---
So picture this....
there's a train coming towards the station
there's a big red button that is on the wall before you
if you press the button the train will stop at the station
if you do not...the train will pass the station.


Sometimes....in life...
you look at your hands and think...
which hand do I use to press the button to stop the train?
should I use my elbow instead?
do I press the button hard or softly?
will it make a noise when I press it?
do I have to press it?
do I use a finger to press it, or open handed?

....
that likens to the idea of indecision.
we think about things...
then we start down the path of thinking too damn much.
the ONLY thing we need to decide.
... is whether we want to get on the train or not.

doesn't matter if we have a ticket.
doesn't matter if 400 other people want to get on the train, or no one.
doesn't matter how fast it goes.
doesn't matter where the train goes.
does not matter.... none of it!
What does matter?

Will you press the button or not?
once you make that decision....
just react...
press the button
_________________________________________________

so what do you do with your time???
I apparently watch alien and unexplained videos long after dark....
which everyone knows you should never do.
_________________________________________________

so...
went thrift store hopping.....found an excellent jacket!
yeah I know it's almost spring...still.
thanks mom!
got Butter some more toys too....of course.

um.....yeah, nothing much to say...
I've got one more day of this 90 day writing the blog thing.
need to go to bank tomorrow
take kid to work and back
also starting a 30 day video challenge....
no I will not be posting them...unless they
actually turn out good....but even then...I doubt it.
working on a 4 week exercise challenge already...
it's pretty easy, but stamina...yeah
still trying to get a bowflex...other people evidently
are not interested in really selling it even though they
posted it for sale.... so I'm a bit confused.
maybe??
2 more garden boxes to dig out.
weather permitting, I'll think about getting those dug
I have some art projects wanting my time.
May designate tomorrow to be there day.

yep...so laters tators.

Kingdoms of the Past

Day 88
---
---
There's a throne room.
It contains all the heavens.
There is so much space, so vast and wide.
There are no walls.
Rays of light cast themselves out upon the distance.
The gods stand and gather 'round as angels land upon the sea.
The sea of nothingness.
It reflects the light back upward, making the kingdom glow.
Everything that happens is known to all. Heard by all.
These beings. Pure and strong.
They must see us humans as crude. As lowly lifeforms.
One would think such things compared to their grandeur.
But it is not so.
They see us as vessels. Ones that carry the spirit.
No matter how our flesh appears.
They know what is inside of us.
They bow to it.
Why? Why?
They regard us so pure, so strong.
Yet we deny ourselves this thought time after time.
Why is it that we carry the shadows on the outside?
Why do we trap up the spirit? Trap up the light?
Who taught us to be so afraid?

__________________________________________________

Past hacking....
Programs are running smoothly.
Upgrades are taking effect, although some will require the reboot.
All conscious ones that I'm aware of, have been mended.
Still searching for the original download of a few key traits.
Traits that I'd like to upgrade.
Not necessarily make better... but balance out.
Like being too critical.
(I only say this because someone in a lucid dream told me I was too critical)
I guess I am sometimes, ha!
Like being too passive.
I don't really care sometimes, so whatever.
Like procrastinating.... is this even real? We'll figure it out later.
Like indecision. Hmmm.....let me think about that.

These things are hard to find the origin of.
Which memory did they install at? When? What occured?
Was it a conglomerate of events? Just one?
I'm beginning to think they actually never downloaded.
Like I didn't receive the programming to attain them...
Like decisiveness. Did no one teach me this?
Like acceptance. I know the answer to this one.
Like focus and commitment to something.
Yeah, those were missing for awhile....I do better at them now.
I see.
I'll have to upload the software I never had.
okay then....
____________________________________________________

Finished editing...now to do another read through.
Then send it to my proofreader again.
Dug out garden. Have 2 boxes left.
Still need to write rec letter.
nothing much else. . .

2 more days till I reach my 90 days
and it's my birthday.
I bought myself a capo.
and some comfy clothing.
and stacking cups for Butter.
spent a whopping $35
on a roll here.
I need a beach vacation.
a quite one. on the beach. with a pool.
and the sun. the warm warm sun.

*yawn....
I'm gonna go take a shower.
Then meditate.
Then bed.
Thrift store tomorrow!! I love thrift stores!
especially now that I'm planning to make dystopian stuff.
and weird dolls, and whatever I want.

YES, TO MORE OF THIS!
YES TO ALL OF  IT!
I WANT MORE!!!!! 
MORE!!!!

take the 'high' road

Day 87
---
---

All you have to do, is decide to 'just do it'.
that's not much of a secret, but it sure does act like one.
because we forget....quite often actually.
we forget that our power lies in our choice.

If you want to go to Scotland....for instance.
Just decide to go.
once you do that, it won't be much longer until the means
to do so arrive to help you out.
that's how the universe works.
it obeys....in a sense.

Would you mind taking on the challenge?
Decide to do something for yourself...something big.
Not like visit Scotland...unless that appeals to you...?
(in that case, my youngest and I are going with you)
but something you keep thinking about but think you can't
have it, can't afford it, or don't deserve it.
Fuck that shit.
You deserve every thing you want.
You are here to live, and to live abundantly.
Just choose. Just decide.
Give yourself what you want.
Stop questioning your motives.
Get on with it already!

etymology lesson #432 = decide -- 'off' 'cut'
basically what it says....
to DE  SIDE
stop making things split apart and in resistance (at war) with each other.
Pick one and all the others will follow suit.
Choose the winner! Choose the leader!
Your little universal soldiers will comply!
 
_______________________________________________

cleaned and organized the entire craft cabinet.--- check
dug some of the garden....only to find that all my strawberries are nil --- check
got the youngest off the computer till after dinner --- check
made the phone calls I had to make --- check

will be editing a script later tonight
and some time tomorrow, i need to write a recommendation letter

___________________________________________________
um..... past hacking still.
There's a few more places to reprogram.
.....there's some places I can't find just yet that need upgrades....
they are hard to locate....like lost files, or maybe they got deleted
at some point in my life? Not sure just yet.
still searching for the origin points......
___________________________________________________

my plans for my art pieces....need to change up a bit...
I can't find the designs I'm looking for for the symbols on them.
Really though, how hard is it to find metatron's cube and 6 other
sacred geometric shapes....
so...I thought maybe I could do alchemic symbols...
but those are too ...plain.
sooooo..... as of right now...
I think I'm going to go with sigils instead.
the only problem is I like about 20 of them....
I only need 6.
looks like I'll need to decide which ones I like best....oy vey.
____________________________________________________

there's still things I need to do.
like watch season 2 of Seraph of the End.
and fill out this Vision workbook someone gave me to test out.
and hit up the thrift shop for dystopian supplies
and make clay stuff
and remove the paint from those toys I got last time I went to the thrift store
and paint the wall
...
and then start on Victory screenplay.
Will finish Fox Prince first though.
It will probably take way shorter than I think.
still waiting for my other proofreader....
then send it back to my first proofreader...
and do it again, lol
YAY!
then do the copyright thing...
maybe enter a contest...maybe...

ok..its 9....gonna go

Ma nochd thu thu fhìn, chì mi thu nad chridhe.

Thursdays...

Day 86
---
---
oh, boy....where to start?!!
.
.
.
.
.
did I get your hopes up? haha
nothing much happening...
except...
I solved all my script tweaks in less than an hour.
I still need to actually edit the script...but I solved the issue.
I told you the muse would help me. She said she would.
I also thought up about 10 different movie ideas and gave them away.
I might save the one that sounds like a good thriller, there's something there.

I can stay home tomorrow....I hope.
I'll edit a script tomorrow. Yep, that's what will happen.
supposed to be sunny tomorrow too...
but will it be warm enough?
I need to dig out a garden and move strawberries.
or clean a craft cabinet. Or both.
....
I was going to say...'could I do both?'
but the true response is...
'will I do both?'
...
I could tell you many reasons why this is a piss poor idea.
But ya know what.
I'm going to f...ing do it!
...
eh...see that shit.
my fingers are editing me. wtf.
 _______________________________________________

ok, it's about 10pm.
I'm not starting a project this late.
maybe sleep?
ha ha
off to do something??

later spaghetti wraps of purple pilings.
jump on that cushion and soak up that love.