Yep, yep, big big plans for this big big exciting year!
Things are going smoothly at the moment, though I know they will shake and rattle and crush me eventually...but that's okay :) good things can happen when you are suffocating under the weight of your burdens :)
Like seeing God, there's nothing as nice as that ;)
Anyway, now I just have to figure out how the hell I'm going to pay for my latest expenditure???!! HAHAHA, does anyone realize I'm piss poor broke? I do, but I'm in denial and my big big plans cannot fail, because they have been ordained ;)
Anyway, I need money, and not income tax money, that goes for bills, sorry, already spent. And if I have a super sale on my facebook fan page, I will be so busy filling orders I wouldn't be able to work on my BIG BIG plans, and that's no fun.
So, looks like I need to be alert for the money that will be knocking on my door soon....have to answer it most definitely. Yeah, it'll show up. I have this thing called faith ;)
Also I want to gripe about why people are so damn lazy and whiny? I get whiny, sure, but really when it comes down to it I get to work and destroy the problem. I get so irritated when people complain and then do nothing about it, either go out and make the change yourself, or change your mind about it, either works. Just shut up already, there's a very short time limit on bitching and complaining, once the time's up, shut up.
So anyhow, I'm also irritated how big huge groups of people say they want to change the world and make a difference, but yet nothing comes of their words. Reminds me of church, hence why I don't go. If you want to make the world better, or even the neighborhood around you, go out there and do it already. Stop waiting for God to do it for you, he's supposed to be in you you stupid idiots, if you are sitting still or worse yet walking on your knees, so is He. STAND UP and get to work!!! Shit, what's wrong with some of you people! There are some who do go out and make a difference, and I'm not talking about stupid missionary idiots, I'm talking about groups who go out and are the difference. I'm not talking about people who donate food or clothes or feed the poor, they are stupid too, I'm talking about random acts of kindness bestowed upon complete strangers who are in need, any need. Provide them with a way to help themselves, not help them just for now. What's that saying....Feed a man a fish....
Do the absolute best thing, not the immediate obvious shit...stupid people...ugh!
You are wasting God's power and love by trying to dry up the ocean by standing in it....idiots :/
You know what, if I was rich, I would help everyone I could, I'd find them a job or create one for them...either works. Hell, I'm trying to employ people at this moment, but evidently I can't find someone willing to work except maybe 2 people...wtf is wrong with that?! Lazy bastards. America sucks in the sense that everyone is lazy asses who rely on someone else to provide for them. The government needs to stop holding these little ass babies in their arms and drop them to the ground until they can learn to walk on their own. So they will cry like little spoiled brats, but so what! Let them cry and whine, then eventually they will start to walk or fade away, either works.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Worn out faces, worn out places
Bright and early for the daily races, going nowhere, going nowhere...
No tomorrow, no tomorrow...
I find it funny and sad. Yeah, so I find myself here standing, with no aim, no goal, no nothing. This sucks. I could choose anything in the world to do or choose nothing at all, yet still I'm here debating between the inbetweens and everything else. I want to do something, though I have no clue what that something is.
I do know what it's not....does that count?
I do not want to make another custom to save my life. Unfortunately, I've already accumulated a few models that I'm working with right now and well, I'm a keeper of my word....sooooo. I at least have to finish with these guys first before pulling the plug and going for a ride down the whirlwind of shit.
But don't get me wrong, I love my models and am grateful for their wonderful pics of my sets, really I am, they totally make everything look 50 times better :) ...Problem is having to remake the same outfit...and even the money doesn't take the place of the actual having to 'work' for it. I like just making it and selling....more like 'hoping' it sells, than selling it and having the obligation to make it. KWIM?
I hope so, because I'm not going to re-explain.
Anyway, back on subject of I have nothing I want to do....
I don't want to do what you want me to do, so don't tell....I have an ingrain rebel that will defy anything presented to me....unless it's the greatest thing ever...but you know the old saying as 'Like children, there are no dreams as precious as your own", kinda thing.
Shit, I don't even want to rule the world at this point...I want a little cute, yet modern, tree house in the middle of 100 acres, far far far far away, though not too far so as the UPS man can't deliver to my mailbox, lol.
Some chickens and a garden, a good dog...better health would be great, no major bills, and somewhere warm, screw this winter cold shit. I hate the cold, snow is pretty, but not that pretty.
I have an urge to use up every bit of fabric I can and start anew...maybe do that thing where everyone else makes things for me, or at least for me to make it first and then sell... I'm seriously tired of thinking back on the same idea I have yet to follow through on.
Lol, I just realized, maybe the world/thoughts, are trying to tell me something :)
See now I feel better already, yay, thank you blogging to myself, what great mental stress relief :)
I'll go do THAT! Just that...though I still need to finish with my current models...along side of using up all I have and starting anew....
And luckily, my mom said she might be able to work for me and make stuff too, which is a good thing so I don't have to do it all myself....need to find more people close by still.....and soon, real soon, I'm going to design a line, (probably summer or fall) so I can at least have things prepared when I feel prepared to jump!!! Yay!
So exciting taht I'm going to drop everything and gamble...yay for winning or losing or breaking even, lol! I'm good with anything, because it's fun, and I'm rather a joyful optimistic person anyways.
So step 1: Finish with current models by end of January.
Step 2: Run huge sale in Etsy shop for last chance customs either end of January or beginning of February. (I know I won't want to do this, but sometimes money makes me happy too :) )
Step 3: Use up all fabrics that serve no other purpose all by the end of February.
Step 4: Since I should have my design and fabric plans for my line done by then, plan on ordering materials and get workers in line to work, prepare local models and photographer (if needed).
Step 5: Sew, sew, sew. Do a few elite OOAK sets to match line. Wait to get inventory in and get outfits/items modeled locally. All due by late March to Mid April? Maybe at the latest end of April.
Step: 6 Shit, a website would be great...but if I can't afford that, we'll have to list on Etsy/Facebook/blog/maybe Ebay, maybe. Starting in May. Tag items, list items, sell items. Should have next design line and fabrics prepared and everything in line with workers by then. Start work on next line while first one sells, to be sold starting in August for fall/back to school. 3rd line prepared to sell Holiday by October 1st. (Start work on Holiday items in JULY!) Don't do like last time and start in August, you'll never get it all done in time, no matter what you think!
Does that sound sane and legit? Probably not, but we'll have fun and attempt it, win or lose. Yay! Now I am excited even more!! I wrote this shit down and so I can stick to it better. We hope, lol.
No tomorrow, no tomorrow...
I find it funny and sad. Yeah, so I find myself here standing, with no aim, no goal, no nothing. This sucks. I could choose anything in the world to do or choose nothing at all, yet still I'm here debating between the inbetweens and everything else. I want to do something, though I have no clue what that something is.
I do know what it's not....does that count?
I do not want to make another custom to save my life. Unfortunately, I've already accumulated a few models that I'm working with right now and well, I'm a keeper of my word....sooooo. I at least have to finish with these guys first before pulling the plug and going for a ride down the whirlwind of shit.
But don't get me wrong, I love my models and am grateful for their wonderful pics of my sets, really I am, they totally make everything look 50 times better :) ...Problem is having to remake the same outfit...and even the money doesn't take the place of the actual having to 'work' for it. I like just making it and selling....more like 'hoping' it sells, than selling it and having the obligation to make it. KWIM?
I hope so, because I'm not going to re-explain.
Anyway, back on subject of I have nothing I want to do....
I don't want to do what you want me to do, so don't tell....I have an ingrain rebel that will defy anything presented to me....unless it's the greatest thing ever...but you know the old saying as 'Like children, there are no dreams as precious as your own", kinda thing.
Shit, I don't even want to rule the world at this point...I want a little cute, yet modern, tree house in the middle of 100 acres, far far far far away, though not too far so as the UPS man can't deliver to my mailbox, lol.
Some chickens and a garden, a good dog...better health would be great, no major bills, and somewhere warm, screw this winter cold shit. I hate the cold, snow is pretty, but not that pretty.
I have an urge to use up every bit of fabric I can and start anew...maybe do that thing where everyone else makes things for me, or at least for me to make it first and then sell... I'm seriously tired of thinking back on the same idea I have yet to follow through on.
Lol, I just realized, maybe the world/thoughts, are trying to tell me something :)
See now I feel better already, yay, thank you blogging to myself, what great mental stress relief :)
I'll go do THAT! Just that...though I still need to finish with my current models...along side of using up all I have and starting anew....
And luckily, my mom said she might be able to work for me and make stuff too, which is a good thing so I don't have to do it all myself....need to find more people close by still.....and soon, real soon, I'm going to design a line, (probably summer or fall) so I can at least have things prepared when I feel prepared to jump!!! Yay!
So exciting taht I'm going to drop everything and gamble...yay for winning or losing or breaking even, lol! I'm good with anything, because it's fun, and I'm rather a joyful optimistic person anyways.
So step 1: Finish with current models by end of January.
Step 2: Run huge sale in Etsy shop for last chance customs either end of January or beginning of February. (I know I won't want to do this, but sometimes money makes me happy too :) )
Step 3: Use up all fabrics that serve no other purpose all by the end of February.
Step 4: Since I should have my design and fabric plans for my line done by then, plan on ordering materials and get workers in line to work, prepare local models and photographer (if needed).
Step 5: Sew, sew, sew. Do a few elite OOAK sets to match line. Wait to get inventory in and get outfits/items modeled locally. All due by late March to Mid April? Maybe at the latest end of April.
Step: 6 Shit, a website would be great...but if I can't afford that, we'll have to list on Etsy/Facebook/blog/maybe Ebay, maybe. Starting in May. Tag items, list items, sell items. Should have next design line and fabrics prepared and everything in line with workers by then. Start work on next line while first one sells, to be sold starting in August for fall/back to school. 3rd line prepared to sell Holiday by October 1st. (Start work on Holiday items in JULY!) Don't do like last time and start in August, you'll never get it all done in time, no matter what you think!
Does that sound sane and legit? Probably not, but we'll have fun and attempt it, win or lose. Yay! Now I am excited even more!! I wrote this shit down and so I can stick to it better. We hope, lol.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Raise your glass
Come on and raise your glass....for me.
Shit.
I feel sick. Again. But that is a usual thing. One of those I can't so anything about it because I'm poor, because I already wasted my time and money going to doctors who couldn't figure it out before I totally went broke. Because I don;t have health insurance, because I'm poor, and even if I did, it would be pre-existing, and well, you know the routine.
The American routine of 'you're screwed and going to die eventually, so instead of try to help you live a better life (without feeling sick) we will not help you or bother with you anymore because even if you pay out of pocket, you can't afford our useless information and bullshit we will feed you. "Here's take this pill..."
Assholes.
What else is there....oh yeah....that. That something that seems to always linger on the tip of my thoughts lately. I don;t know why, but it saddens me that it cannot be found...not ever. Mainly because people like that no longer exist.
What is that exactly. Well, maybe not exactly, but it's the fact that there is no one, no one, no one, not a one, living breathing, real person in this entire realm of existence that can be placed as the rock in one's life. God, yes, but a person here? I haven't found them. Jesus, of course. (Yeah, so I'm spiritual, fuck off) But one you can bounce ideas off of, one you can tell your troubles to, one that will just simply give you a hug when you're feeling bad....no. Husband, yes, he's great...really great actually, and I thank God for him literately. But the other someone, kinda like a father, that person....no he doesn't exist...at least not yet...shit, how depressing.
I have to go live in my head with pretend friends that would uplift me, only so they can fill the void that no one else can.
Jesus can and does, but this is something different, I'm quite satisfied otherwise. I have everything I need, and He is sufficient, and hubby is great too, but really, I get to hug hubby everyday, much of the time in a day. I only hugged Jesus 3 times. But I can't even remember the last time I saw my dad, much less hugged him willingly. And truthfully, I don;t even want my biological dad around at all, I want the person in my head dammit.
Yeah, so I'm a freak, and that's okay.
I 've done proved my freak factor not too long ago, and all I can say is WoW! Here's my freak factor......
You wouldn't believe the crap I've experienced....and really though, I love it.
So anyway, I'm pissed right now as you can tell, because there are no decent people (aka: heros, guides, family, friends) around me besides the 2 mentioned above.
My mom is cool, and some parts of my family, but things aren't as simple as they are with Him or pretend people.... :P
Why is it the government wants to know everything that goes on in your business, is it really any of their business anyway?
I also feel bad about Australia flooding....I think that was supposed to be my real country, or maybe was in another life, because I've been drawn to it since birth....I really need to go there one day when I get rich, or rich enough to go...though no promises that I will come back. You have no idea.
What else do you want to know? How much it sucks today to be me.....I'm tired of sewing. Yes me, I want other people to sew for me and me just run the business. I don't want to sew anymore so I can make money....I want to sew to make other people happy... but the trouble is that I have to make money or I'll really go broke.Dammit.
What good is it to be an artist, a creator, if you are limited by the facade that is has to be done....dammit. I would love just to give things away and make kids happy, make their mommies happy, make me happy, but no, I have to sell them so I can justify buying more fabric to make more and sell more...ugh. This sucks.
I would do that government grant thing to get other people to sew for me, but they want to know too much of your business which is none of their business. And as for paying it back....what if I go broke....yeah, take from the poor to make them poorer, just like health care...assholes, I'm still paying for shit from last year that I still have no answers to. It's just great that you take money away from my family...fuckers, go die.
Shit.
I feel sick. Again. But that is a usual thing. One of those I can't so anything about it because I'm poor, because I already wasted my time and money going to doctors who couldn't figure it out before I totally went broke. Because I don;t have health insurance, because I'm poor, and even if I did, it would be pre-existing, and well, you know the routine.
The American routine of 'you're screwed and going to die eventually, so instead of try to help you live a better life (without feeling sick) we will not help you or bother with you anymore because even if you pay out of pocket, you can't afford our useless information and bullshit we will feed you. "Here's take this pill..."
Assholes.
What else is there....oh yeah....that. That something that seems to always linger on the tip of my thoughts lately. I don;t know why, but it saddens me that it cannot be found...not ever. Mainly because people like that no longer exist.
What is that exactly. Well, maybe not exactly, but it's the fact that there is no one, no one, no one, not a one, living breathing, real person in this entire realm of existence that can be placed as the rock in one's life. God, yes, but a person here? I haven't found them. Jesus, of course. (Yeah, so I'm spiritual, fuck off) But one you can bounce ideas off of, one you can tell your troubles to, one that will just simply give you a hug when you're feeling bad....no. Husband, yes, he's great...really great actually, and I thank God for him literately. But the other someone, kinda like a father, that person....no he doesn't exist...at least not yet...shit, how depressing.
I have to go live in my head with pretend friends that would uplift me, only so they can fill the void that no one else can.
Jesus can and does, but this is something different, I'm quite satisfied otherwise. I have everything I need, and He is sufficient, and hubby is great too, but really, I get to hug hubby everyday, much of the time in a day. I only hugged Jesus 3 times. But I can't even remember the last time I saw my dad, much less hugged him willingly. And truthfully, I don;t even want my biological dad around at all, I want the person in my head dammit.
Yeah, so I'm a freak, and that's okay.
I 've done proved my freak factor not too long ago, and all I can say is WoW! Here's my freak factor......
You wouldn't believe the crap I've experienced....and really though, I love it.
So anyway, I'm pissed right now as you can tell, because there are no decent people (aka: heros, guides, family, friends) around me besides the 2 mentioned above.
My mom is cool, and some parts of my family, but things aren't as simple as they are with Him or pretend people.... :P
Why is it the government wants to know everything that goes on in your business, is it really any of their business anyway?
I also feel bad about Australia flooding....I think that was supposed to be my real country, or maybe was in another life, because I've been drawn to it since birth....I really need to go there one day when I get rich, or rich enough to go...though no promises that I will come back. You have no idea.
What else do you want to know? How much it sucks today to be me.....I'm tired of sewing. Yes me, I want other people to sew for me and me just run the business. I don't want to sew anymore so I can make money....I want to sew to make other people happy... but the trouble is that I have to make money or I'll really go broke.Dammit.
What good is it to be an artist, a creator, if you are limited by the facade that is has to be done....dammit. I would love just to give things away and make kids happy, make their mommies happy, make me happy, but no, I have to sell them so I can justify buying more fabric to make more and sell more...ugh. This sucks.
I would do that government grant thing to get other people to sew for me, but they want to know too much of your business which is none of their business. And as for paying it back....what if I go broke....yeah, take from the poor to make them poorer, just like health care...assholes, I'm still paying for shit from last year that I still have no answers to. It's just great that you take money away from my family...fuckers, go die.
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