"When I mentioned writing a story, I didn't mean for you to 'write' a story....but to write you." The Alchemist says with a quiet smirk.
He glances over at me, not really correcting my take on his words so much as elaborating just enough to hide his enthusiasm of me actually writing a story. So which is it? Not intending for me to start spilling out the words, or silently watching as they fill the page. He doesn't say anything about it, merely watching, possibly, secretly, thinking that this is a great way to amp up his career ego.
"I don't have an ego." He adds, reading along.
I want to burst out in laughter. But I also don't want to give him the impression of my disagreement. I stand silent with a smile and look back to the screen.
This was perhaps a few months ago when this spontaneous endeavor crossed my view. This story of myself. This story of how I fell into the company of The Alchemist and some Universal mix of Source and God and all the things that build worlds and minds and hearts. Taking this long to even dare etch a single letter to a page.
Perhaps it was a scary thought. More so one of not being worthy enough to handle such a task. Yeah, I've written books, namely a handful of fantasy novels, and a few quick scribbles of self-help propaganda, passion pleas plastered on memes, and blog posts about getting off your ass and stop being a ninny.... but this...this is beyond mere play things. Beyond mere meandering in the shallows. This....this is real. What am I doing here?
The Alchemist rolls his eyes, completely underwhelmed by my thoughts of being some worthless twat that can't write a sentence in correct grammar, much less the way others could comprehend. Could I even put commas and punctuation in their correct places? And even if I could, or couldn't, there's this huge fact beyond facts that I don't care to. And then what? What then? Me writing the story of the Aethers and the Universe....and her goons.
"Careful with those words." He mentions.
I recognize that the Universe can in fact read. And also the fact that I would very well be calling myself whatever it is I'm projecting on this page. Should I even go back to to correct that, or leave it?
Ahh, yes...but I've already adopted the phrase of not 'should-ing' on myself. So it will remain untouched.
There's a value to the eyes about seeing what has come and what is now arisen. This facet of how a then and now could be years apart, or a sentence apart. I sink, loving this truth for myself.
The Alchemist looks over at me, me and my swooning over a little thought. He's intrigued and raises his chin a tad to get my attention. I glance his way, awaiting whatever it is he is bound to say.
"This is why. This will be why." He gives a slight nod, adding in a few more bouncy assured nods that follow.
Even now, before the page is full does he instantly like this path more and more. This writing. Having found something for me...something in me, as it bares itself outward. And I may have felt trapped in this aspect yesterday...or the whole months before when this idea even first visited...but now... now that it has already begun... I feel that the water is warm, the sun is rising... and I... will walk hand in hand with this journey. Accepting of it's pull, like the flow of a river.
That all is an excerpt from this book thing I'm writing.
I just started...sooo... give me all of next year. It's on-going apparently. And I'm excited that next year I get to start book 7 of Angel of MidKnight!!! I'm so happy about that!
______________________________
Drag of a day. Today on the 30th, last day of the month.
Not the day, but my energy. Just blah....even if I'm working and have things I could do.
Just blah.
hehe...I just realized why...
_______________________________
_______________________________________________
It's December 1st! YAY!
and I just want to thank Neptune for going prograde.
I am so excited and happy and just fucking glorious!
Every time I yawn or hiccup I hear a tone in my ear. I don't know what it sounds like, but it's a higher frequency than my singing bowl...I think... I need to check I guess, haha
Waiting on carpet...
but my treadmill will be here tomorrow. I was kinda hoping it wouldn't get here til next week... but hey... whatevs! It's ALL FUCKING GOOD! YO!
Sewing orders, one in process...well technically 2...
More on the way and everything to be completed by Dec 15th...then I play until I decide to prep some new design lines.... yes, that whole idea again, cause I have got to get my ass away from making appliques all the fucking time!
Imma go!
peace
He glances over at me, not really correcting my take on his words so much as elaborating just enough to hide his enthusiasm of me actually writing a story. So which is it? Not intending for me to start spilling out the words, or silently watching as they fill the page. He doesn't say anything about it, merely watching, possibly, secretly, thinking that this is a great way to amp up his career ego.
"I don't have an ego." He adds, reading along.
I want to burst out in laughter. But I also don't want to give him the impression of my disagreement. I stand silent with a smile and look back to the screen.
This was perhaps a few months ago when this spontaneous endeavor crossed my view. This story of myself. This story of how I fell into the company of The Alchemist and some Universal mix of Source and God and all the things that build worlds and minds and hearts. Taking this long to even dare etch a single letter to a page.
Perhaps it was a scary thought. More so one of not being worthy enough to handle such a task. Yeah, I've written books, namely a handful of fantasy novels, and a few quick scribbles of self-help propaganda, passion pleas plastered on memes, and blog posts about getting off your ass and stop being a ninny.... but this...this is beyond mere play things. Beyond mere meandering in the shallows. This....this is real. What am I doing here?
The Alchemist rolls his eyes, completely underwhelmed by my thoughts of being some worthless twat that can't write a sentence in correct grammar, much less the way others could comprehend. Could I even put commas and punctuation in their correct places? And even if I could, or couldn't, there's this huge fact beyond facts that I don't care to. And then what? What then? Me writing the story of the Aethers and the Universe....and her goons.
"Careful with those words." He mentions.
I recognize that the Universe can in fact read. And also the fact that I would very well be calling myself whatever it is I'm projecting on this page. Should I even go back to to correct that, or leave it?
Ahh, yes...but I've already adopted the phrase of not 'should-ing' on myself. So it will remain untouched.
There's a value to the eyes about seeing what has come and what is now arisen. This facet of how a then and now could be years apart, or a sentence apart. I sink, loving this truth for myself.
The Alchemist looks over at me, me and my swooning over a little thought. He's intrigued and raises his chin a tad to get my attention. I glance his way, awaiting whatever it is he is bound to say.
"This is why. This will be why." He gives a slight nod, adding in a few more bouncy assured nods that follow.
Even now, before the page is full does he instantly like this path more and more. This writing. Having found something for me...something in me, as it bares itself outward. And I may have felt trapped in this aspect yesterday...or the whole months before when this idea even first visited...but now... now that it has already begun... I feel that the water is warm, the sun is rising... and I... will walk hand in hand with this journey. Accepting of it's pull, like the flow of a river.
That all is an excerpt from this book thing I'm writing.
I just started...sooo... give me all of next year. It's on-going apparently. And I'm excited that next year I get to start book 7 of Angel of MidKnight!!! I'm so happy about that!
______________________________
Drag of a day. Today on the 30th, last day of the month.
Not the day, but my energy. Just blah....even if I'm working and have things I could do.
Just blah.
hehe...I just realized why...
_______________________________
_______________________________________________
It's December 1st! YAY!
and I just want to thank Neptune for going prograde.
I am so excited and happy and just fucking glorious!
Every time I yawn or hiccup I hear a tone in my ear. I don't know what it sounds like, but it's a higher frequency than my singing bowl...I think... I need to check I guess, haha
Waiting on carpet...
but my treadmill will be here tomorrow. I was kinda hoping it wouldn't get here til next week... but hey... whatevs! It's ALL FUCKING GOOD! YO!
Sewing orders, one in process...well technically 2...
More on the way and everything to be completed by Dec 15th...then I play until I decide to prep some new design lines.... yes, that whole idea again, cause I have got to get my ass away from making appliques all the fucking time!
Imma go!
peace
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