What up, homeboy
I see you
and every little piece of you, I love
even when you make every attempt to hide the real you
you idiot...
it's your energy...and not your words...but you are using words to hide yourself...
you are using your actions to hide yourself...
your dismissals, your deflections, your expressions...
gah...
and all I see is your bullshit clothing trying to hide what's underneath...
your soul
...
you idiot...
vulnerable is not about being weak or susceptible...
vulnerable is powerful
it's revealing your truth, your power, your desires, your joy
and not trying to put on some outfit that's way too small or too tight,
too restricting..., like skinny jeans
tattered cloths trying to hide the glory that you are...
I see you...
and I'm not sure anyone else can...
but fuck sakes..
stop. doing. this. to. yourself.
you only get this one life... this time around...
by the time you get another, you'll have forgotten all your tattered digs.
fucking shine, you glorious bastard
there's no falling down... only rising up
stop fucking thinking you have something unworthy or unqualified
you are the worth.
you are the quality
and I'm waiting for everyone to let the fuck go of their shit rags
and put on their best
so, wear your best
your fucking best
every fucking day
I want everyone to see you the way I see you
______________________________
_____________________________________
____________________________________________
unless it's one of those Thanos days...
you probably don't want that...
fortunately, today is not that day
Today, everything works out for me
Today, everything is taken care of
Today, of course, I get what I want
Today, of course, I am provided for
Today, of course, my path is cleared
and tomorrow... by the time I reach it...
will even change it's name for me...
and become Today..
and everything will be taken care of,
and all things will work out for me,
and all the good great things...
________________________
I'm thinking art is on the horizon...
I received some glimpses of pretty watercolors...
(colors!!)
might get to book 6... which I haven't touched the outline for a few weeks now...
there's lots of filling in going on still, I promise....
and I don't have the last 1/4 of it... no clue what happens! How exciting!
and I've no idea what I'm gonna do with a certain character group....
meh... they are currently boring... and where they should go... isn't appealing...
and I kinda dislike 2 out of the 5 of them... bleh...
I guess I could..... hmm..... O_O I might have an idea...
or not... idk
anyway...stuff, ideas, plans... all moot actually...
lots of topics I could arrange some sort of viewpoint on...
but really though... I don't mind being the only one to see it
I like my solitude
....
I've got nothing else for you...
so I'm outta here.
...
maybe I do....
I was just proofreading and realizing how I write about going all gung ho on your fucking real ass self and not denying one speck of yourself....especially not to spare others...
(Ok, I didn't write, that word for word, but it's the same fucking thing I did write above!) (funny how words all say the same in different ways, huh)
and the thing is, i that I don't delve in too much with you...sooo, to be more thorough.
Be wise to know that truth isn't best revealed on words...no matter how one places them in certain orders or refrains from using better analogies. Truth is deep and has to be felt, not spoken... For real truth makes your voice shake. It trembles.
Power isn't belting out motivations, or thrusting more words in longer sentences. Power is security in self. In soul, in mind, in ego, in attention, in love, in truth. Power is the feeling that you hold onto.
Desires aren't 'just' things, or lists of things, or happenings, or cuddly hugs... these things have energy and are alive... they are urges to expand and create more of you. The are felt, held, carried along with you.
Joy isn't 'just' the lovely children on Christmas morning, or your baby, or your stack of cash, or all the good lovely things you hold so dear. Joy is the creation and emancipation of the utmost feeling, you held it, you carried it, and you fucking birthed it too. Maybe it is a child.... but this one... doesn't eat your food, make messes, or effectively mooch. .... wait... maybe that's joy too.
Vulnerable leads to authentic. Non apologetic authenticity.
Like saying 'fuck you' to anyone who would rather hand you loads of bullshit to carry instead. (also known as boundaries).
Like screaming out your weaknesses and shooting them like skeet disks. "PULL!"
Like doing something completely irresponsible and unneeded just because you fucking want to.
~ "WANT IS THE ONLY PREREQUISITE TO DOING OR HAVING SOMETHING." ~
Never apologize for living in your desires. For living in your joy.
Nothing has power over you, not your parents, not your family, not your spouse, not your children, not your boss, not your bank account, not money, or anything... unless you give it authority over you.
stop. fucking. doing. this.
we all are becoming...
there's no falling backwards...
give in... to yourself
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