Merkabah and the monkey

 "You've found the path, so why are you looking back?"
  the Alchemist would shake his head annoyed.
   and is he not coming with? my thoughts would question..
because he's behind me now...and although there are never goodbyes..
  there's something to be said for having a favorite guide....
and I don't think he's going away... but again it's a changing of form..
he doesn't look the same once again, even if his energy is spot on.
  more human at times...more shadowy now.
I have to turn my head to look... what a crap shoot.
  he just smirks and prods me to keep going forward...
if we can ever even call it that... we never move... just change as well.

"You act like you've never done this before?" He jests.
  as well as roll his eyes enough to make the truth of it obvious.
   cause we've always grown before...this is nothing new, not even a little bit.
the path is here, but there aren't any signs.
no map, not even a trail mind you.
A random wilderness at best.
but the views...the trees...the sounds...the smells, sights, all the colors...
that's why we are here anyway, yeah?

it feels comforting to know every step is correct
because every step is one you've created, rather than followed.
   and you only create what you are. who you are.

"And who are you?"
   he catches the moment like a viper, because he does that..

Everything.

The space for everything.

...and all that will be.

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This is the place I usually write down the physical things I've done or am doing..
HA!
Slow at best...almost rather moot.
I don't care about these things.
But I sat in a certain place today that was expansive and freeing.
I won't write it here, as it words would never be able to rise to the feeling.
It may be the only reason the path even appeared... or non-path...
  even the Alchemist nodded, as if he was pleased with the outcome he knew would come.
  like a full satisfied completion of one of his projects.
I wouldn't doubt if I were one of them. 

He claims I'm not a project...but his words deliver a sense of something close to that.
he smirks again...knowing I barely understand, but know.... iykwim

... expenditure...a vast enormous completely risky investment...
  the words he likes best it seems... with the word risky highlighted, he adds.

..."One that was worth it."

not that worth has anything to do with it
but he had been warned at the beginning...
not taking time to believe what they told him...
and he's thankful for his partaking in this... this expenditure... (?)

"I want you to stay on this path. Don't deviate, even for a moment...
    or it will be lost to your eyes."
  he looks my way, stepping closer
I nod.
"Where is it?" he asks, coming up to me.
I point?? but not really... I can't even describe this...
"It can take you all the way there." He says assuredly.

and he plays it off like it's a car... cause I devour analogies like doughnuts
you've got to care for it, tend to it, give it gas...
pay attention
focus...but not the focus as in the goal... (which there isn't one?)
the focus as in the being in the car...
staying in the car...
except it's not a car...

it's the path

and "It will take you all the way there."

and my mind is like...'and where is where?', 'what is where?'
and as soon as she had those questions...the questions were dismissed...
right here... right now.


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Body is allowing and appreciating not having to throw a fit to get what she wants.

Mind is sitting in solace, rather happy and free flowing. She's feeling whatever and feeling kinda high.

Brain is looking over the list of things that could be done, but has agreed to not be the driver.

Ego is liking all of this. She says it feels like she's not dampered by the pisshats, and gets to be herself.

The Kid is wanting to color something... doesn't care about any of this. It is normal for her.

Soul is admiring the car...path? Like the new leather, the lights...but not that... more like the immediate
  textures and knowings lying right here....right now.



I don't know if this is that merkabah thing...
but it feels like a vessel... but the vessel is you... not your body as in you...
like the... energy that is you.
and the more you sit in it...ride in it... be it...
the more is grows...
it's fascinating.



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Did you know that a few episodes of Hoarders will easily provoke you into cleaning your house.
And just thinking about the Konda method (assuming you already know it) will get you to go through your clothes.
And loving yourself will get you into alignment.

...anyways... I got things to do.
bored of writing.

later.


Monkeys and cantaloupes frolick in the sun on the afternoons of the fall season. Always pat their heads and tell them how pretty they are. Maybe keep your wallet tied to you, cause those little bastards like to pick pocket. ...and p.s. don't eat their cantaloupes... or they will eat your face.