A rant and a deluxe piece of engineering.

 

2023 Porsche 911 gt3 rs
But I prefer matte black....
the design software didn't have that option...

Just putting this here.
I exchanged the cybertruck for this...
because SPEED
and the new 4runner is already on the list when my current one expires

So I'm writing this book on Atlantis.
It's a collection of interviews from Atlantians.
Hope it makes the cut, haha.

Haven't wrote in the other lately, but it will come when it comes.
That one will take awhile, as it's not up to me...
It's up to the aethers what comes through...
and if I ever get some fucking time to meditate and have a chat.

I just wanted to rant today...
but while I'm speaking of books...
Just yesterday I had this huge influx of shit for book 8 of Angel of MidKnight...
and fuck me if this story ever ends...
Book 8 wouldn't be due til 2024...and here we are not even having stepped into 2023 yet.
son of a bitch...
son of a bitch...

Anyway...rant...
about this time constraint I'm still suffering from.
Suffer as in annoyed, not awfulness.
...
meditation...
that place I get all this awesome intelligence and genius from.
Where insights and unfathomable intuition grows out of.
where I meet the best people ever!!
   hence why real world people are so fucking boring...
so... I'm having the hugest irritation with being consistent.

'They' say to do meditation in the morning...
but that hasn't worked for the millionth time I've tried to do that.
My soul isn't even here...and then you want me to have a conversation or gather up cool stuff...
while I'm half asleep...
NO. I literately fall back asleep... or don't remember one second of whatever was going on..
so that does not work for me in any shape or form.
So mornings are a NO.
There's the afternoons. I love meditating in the afternoons...cause I don't fall asleep, I get to have chats with the aether peeps, or myself, or whatever... I remember it all. Easily can consciously delve into any issue or challenge to bring a solution to it. Manifesting powers are honed here.
  but...guess what... I've got shit to do.. errands, work, other work stuffs... I could do it a few days..
but a few days is not considered consistent.
   I do my workout more consistent than a few fucking days...
So unless I give up the jobs... which what's even wrong with that? (oh yeah.. *money)
the afternoons are a 'great time, but damn it if you aren't always available'.
Evenings... evenings are writing time. Networking time...
  I have gotten in a few meditations in the evenings.. but like the afternoons... not consistent. I get 3-4 on a good week...and that's not getting into the depths.
It's like eating fresh baked bread, but only the end piece... not the center....where it fucking matters...
I get my workout in more than that even!
FUUUUUCK...
I can't stay up til 2am all the time... *sigh.
And there is no such thing as cutting into writing time...I'd just be bombarded with book scenes the whole time...
Fuck me.. I don't even have art time... What the actual FUCK!?!?!?
Now I'm kinda pissed now that THAT realization has hit me...
wtaf...

I want it all.
Every fucking thing.

Especially that Porsche.

now..let's have a inner dialogue...
Say there was money to pay all the basics off and shit..
and buy the car and 4runner.. and hubs a new truck.. and the airstream...
Would I write? Absolutely! More so!
Would I meditate? Oh hell yeah! All the time!
Would I art? Certainly!
Would I workout? Yes! And go hiking at all the national parks, duh!
Would I pet sit?
   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  No....
   It's a no.
I already set my Rover account to 'away' so I don't pick up any new clients...
and truthfully I can give current clients to Skylar to handle.
No biggie... I do it for the money and ease and play time with pups/kits and I can run errands while I'm out and about. But yeah.. it buys gas and pays a few bills.
Would I still sew?
   That's a no too.
   Right now I only work one day every two weeks cause slow season... which is rather great.
  But *money
   ....but time...
time to do my stuffs....

We will rearrange my list and just do it.
Create the happening.
I can do what I want.


Peace out.