So...hello again.
Making this quick (we hope).
I'm rather not fond of this blog anymore and probably will avoid it for quite some time from here on out, or at least until I feel like it is doing more something...than...well, nothing.
Today is an odd day. I'm stuck again between that idea of all powerful 'I can do anything' attitude, and that rather sucky 'I am worthless' attitude. I'm contemplating doing some things that may or may not be risky....and frankly, I don't care. Things like unfriending 95% of my facebook friends who really are not friends...well....I have maybe 2 friends really, the rest (4.98%) are family. And I'm rather forced to keep them...maybe just the ones I actually know (a.k.a. I recognize their name and how they are connected)
Also things like getting a tattoo, cutting my hair, or random things like painting my toenails which is useless since I always wear shoes.
The world is driving me crazy and I have no one to take away the pooling flow of chaos.
Plan on cleaning this sewing room tonight and vacuum too. Then finishing a t-shirt because it is already 95% finished anyway, maybe prepping other things so when I actually get back home from vacation they'll be ready. Not that I'm not home already, but I don't feel guilty for doing nothing majorly productive work-wise the past 5 days. I think I will edit some cowboy pictures too....which I keep forgetting about :P
I will probably read a book I got yesterday too :) and get some straps hot glued to a pair of wings.
Tomorrow I need to water the garden in back and the flowers in front and who knows what else.
I think I will give up on everything too....business-wise, because I can't do it by myself and I need help and no one cares to help...so I guess I won't care either. I'll be like the rest of you who don't care and we can all not care together.
Or I can go and do a bunch of the hard work that I can do and then give up later because I can't do everything. So screw it.
This is what you have driven me to. I hope you are proud. We can all be worthless together.
Or I can sit around and wait for that wonderful moment of divine aspiration and watch things happen for me....but no. The boss man is out on vacation or something, doing whatever it is he does, while I'm whining here in the desert. I'm such a spoiled brat. Not sure why he puts up with me and I'm not sure why I keep acting this way when I know he's freaking busy getting some awesomeness prepared just for me...ugh. I hate waiting and I hate not remembering that I'm just a child and totally have a right to throw a fit.
I have a kitty on my lap. And he is so much cooler than you. Thank you all for your support....not. >:[
So there's this memory I have....and I can't seem to find them. But I know they will come for me. They'll find their way back. And maybe...maybe they will remember who they are...who I am. Because I can't forget. Wake up wake up....perhaps they're still sleeping. Wake up wake up. I miss them. I miss them all. Find me. Carry me up above the clouds and we can all dance in the sky together. Where are you.....I'm in the desert, come find me. The sands scour and the sun burns and memory doesn't fade when it holds onto that love....and I walk in this sea of endless stars....without you.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Monday, April 21, 2014
Growing flowers to give to your love.
I find it rather challenging. This task. This task of pouring out gold like there's no end. This struggle to locate every word hidden beneath the unending strain of humanness. There are words that do not fulfill the needs of the heart. The soul finds they lack and are not strengthened as they would be had it spoken them itself. Where are the words?
Today was Easter. Tomorrow is Monday. Here we are caught in the midst. And where are we? Caught between where we've been and where we are going. Caught between home and home.... The place we come from, the land of honey and sunshine, with a river that runs through it. Trees, and the Gardener. There is a grand city there. They say the streets were paved with gold...but oh, gold is wisdom, and the streets in color appear as an opal glass. The angles stand proud and tall. Taller than our weaknesses. And they stand with a spear. Not to fight, not for war, but as a symbol of triumph. The arrow pointing to the sky above.
The place we come from....this is only a very small piece that lacks in many ways due to our inability to perceive it all. There's so much more. And the place we are going to...home. Where in the day we are graced with the gardener's smile. And it is always day. This never-ending dance of the stars. Never in the dark.
Yet here we are. The in-between, where we get to love madly, and stumble, and fall, and love deepy. And glimpses of home, and glimpses of seeing that we chose to be caught in the tides of presence. And we forget where we came from, and we forget where we are going....and we fear we are lost in this darkness. But the darkness is not without its stars.
Hands dip into the ocean and waves crash between the fingers, pouring out like waterfalls. Pouring pouring. Trying to take hold of understanding. Trying to take hold of what is much more than our hands can attain. So we dive, crashing into the sea, swallowed up and sinking, yet there's more water than we can drown in.
We flung ourselves off the cliffsides and sank deep into the abyss, we've soared across the galaxies and blazed grand like a sun. We've danced, we've sang, we've cried, and fought, and gave in, and gave up, and still we can not hold all that there is. Still we can not see or hear or feel all that is. Except....except in one name.
If there be anything that contains everything, that is all....that is completion and beginnings and life without time and time without ends, and every aspect of love....the light, the night, the stars, the wind, the flashes of lightning, the thunders, the tears, the embracing and smiles, the fullness....the wholeness of all....if there be anything that is everything we know....and everything we've yet discovered...it will lie upon the face of the Lord.
And you can forget about your religion, and you can forget about your opinions, and your ideas of good or bad, and you can forget about what fear was, or anger, or hate, or confusion....these things can not exist when He looks upon you.....and let me tell you, you may not even remember what those things are.....you will only know that He is all. Every truth, every spark of light, every idea, every vibration, every wavelength, every being....and the source of every image of love.
And He will smile upon you. He will hold out His arms wide, and you will know nothing else but peace. And He will raise you high and there will be nothing else outside of Him. He is all. And He has you too.
Today was Easter...and it doesn't matter which day you write a love letter. And if you can remember.....you can go out and visit the gardener and see the garden. The sun is shining, the honey is pouring out, and the river flows across the land. Trees bloom......
Today was Easter. Tomorrow is Monday. Here we are caught in the midst. And where are we? Caught between where we've been and where we are going. Caught between home and home.... The place we come from, the land of honey and sunshine, with a river that runs through it. Trees, and the Gardener. There is a grand city there. They say the streets were paved with gold...but oh, gold is wisdom, and the streets in color appear as an opal glass. The angles stand proud and tall. Taller than our weaknesses. And they stand with a spear. Not to fight, not for war, but as a symbol of triumph. The arrow pointing to the sky above.
The place we come from....this is only a very small piece that lacks in many ways due to our inability to perceive it all. There's so much more. And the place we are going to...home. Where in the day we are graced with the gardener's smile. And it is always day. This never-ending dance of the stars. Never in the dark.
Yet here we are. The in-between, where we get to love madly, and stumble, and fall, and love deepy. And glimpses of home, and glimpses of seeing that we chose to be caught in the tides of presence. And we forget where we came from, and we forget where we are going....and we fear we are lost in this darkness. But the darkness is not without its stars.
Hands dip into the ocean and waves crash between the fingers, pouring out like waterfalls. Pouring pouring. Trying to take hold of understanding. Trying to take hold of what is much more than our hands can attain. So we dive, crashing into the sea, swallowed up and sinking, yet there's more water than we can drown in.
We flung ourselves off the cliffsides and sank deep into the abyss, we've soared across the galaxies and blazed grand like a sun. We've danced, we've sang, we've cried, and fought, and gave in, and gave up, and still we can not hold all that there is. Still we can not see or hear or feel all that is. Except....except in one name.
If there be anything that contains everything, that is all....that is completion and beginnings and life without time and time without ends, and every aspect of love....the light, the night, the stars, the wind, the flashes of lightning, the thunders, the tears, the embracing and smiles, the fullness....the wholeness of all....if there be anything that is everything we know....and everything we've yet discovered...it will lie upon the face of the Lord.
And you can forget about your religion, and you can forget about your opinions, and your ideas of good or bad, and you can forget about what fear was, or anger, or hate, or confusion....these things can not exist when He looks upon you.....and let me tell you, you may not even remember what those things are.....you will only know that He is all. Every truth, every spark of light, every idea, every vibration, every wavelength, every being....and the source of every image of love.
And He will smile upon you. He will hold out His arms wide, and you will know nothing else but peace. And He will raise you high and there will be nothing else outside of Him. He is all. And He has you too.
Today was Easter...and it doesn't matter which day you write a love letter. And if you can remember.....you can go out and visit the gardener and see the garden. The sun is shining, the honey is pouring out, and the river flows across the land. Trees bloom......
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Invitation to another world
I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map....And knew that somehow I could find my way back.
Then I heard your heartbeating, you were in the darkness too......So I stayed in the darkness with you.
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out.....You left me in the dark.
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight.....In the shadow of your heart.
The other morning.... a gift came to my door. Mind you it was rather early...early to me...and I was in fact in bed. So the doorbell rang, and my body immediately responded....jumping into action like 'oh, doorbell!' and my mind was like 'aaaahhhhhhh someone's going to die!'...and grumbling I got up to answer the door.
A black man...with glasses hands me a flyer thing....and says he's from so and so church and they are having some special Easter service thing-a-ma-jig...the messenger isn't the point....so long as you got the message. So I got this flyer, yeah, whatever, said thank you all nice like, cause he was nice and he did apologize in case he woke me up....close door, walk into kitchen...happen to read said flyer...well, close it back (it was folded like a card) and on the front...there it is...the gift.
And just for some pretense...I'm rather blunt with the boss man...and sometimes I feel like I scare him away, and he doesn't much pay attention to little ol me and my immature antics cause I'm still learning and I'm hard headed. And I'm impatient....though I try not to be...but I really can't help it. Once you've had a piece of heaven it is really freaking hard to pretend like you can wait to get another piece. Well...anyway....there's this journey I'm working on and I've been waiting for this particular item for quite some time now. Might not seem like a long time in the path to eternity and all...but I had almost either forgotten about it, or thought it was just another 'thought' that wouldn't come to pass in reality.
Well....I got it that morning...and once I read it, there was that odd silence in your head where you feel that tinge of epiphany and coincidence and can't do anything to hold that creeping smile from invading your lips. Ooooh, yes, that feeling like you really aren't living in your head, because you are holding it in the flesh, in your hand, and again you remember what really matters and what's really real, even if you're the only one that thinks so.
"You Are Invited" and that was all I needed.
I'm trying not to consider that the date on it was for the 14th. (Monday) cause that just happens to be the day before that other day.... which you could educated yourself about if you watched youtube videos and such...not that all those are true, but entertaining nonetheless.
I'm rather happy because of this said occurrence, and there's probably a few more thing-a-ma-jigs I've been awaiting, but sometimes I have really cool days.
In other news....work is totally sucking. I'm far behind and I go into these internal debates of whether or not my mental well being is at stake and whether it really is important whether or not I do a certain task now or later. Either way I win.... I'm not sure what I'm debating. Things get done eventually. Bummed that there's just a lot of things. Vacation coming up soon. So I keep telling myself anyway.
There's been a very odd vibration happening lately and I don't think I like it. Unsettling it is. Not the bad feeling stuff, but the unsettling kind...the kind that means occurrences in life similar to earthquakes, eruptions, and thunderstorms on a worldly scale.... like in your life, not on earth...unless you consider yourself earth..... ... yeah, I'm confusaling you. sorry.
Looks like we'll be in for a very turbulent ride for a bit. And this will be okay. Should be fun.
Like 'stopping by a music store and spending 300 dollars just because' kinda of fun. Or buying a part for something only to realize you need the more expensive part instead...just after you go to that music store kind of fun. Or having a kitten sniff your armpit like it is catnip and laugh because its funny and then he bites you there too kind of fun. ...oh there's so many more types of fun out there. I'm excited. Not because I like the frustration....but I do like the challenge. And you can't get to the boss man at the end of the game unless you complete each level. Of course, this particular boss man doesn't need defeated.....you do. It is ourselves we need to conquer. Our own frustrations, our own fears, doubts, illusions....and lies. Conquering ourselves in order to remember what we really are. And this is why thunderstorms are exciting, and why earthquakes are amazing, and eruptions are spectacular displays. Because we are such displays, we are these things....and what is a starry sky without a comet, or a song without vibration, or color without light. Let us be joyous in our trials.
Ugh, sorry, didn't mean to sound all blah blah fancy talkish. Too poetic I suppose. Anyway, watch for your invitation, make sure it's signed, and I'll see you at the banquet, I'll be by the fruit...or wherever the boss man is.
Later tators of green pickled strawberry patched kids., going to bed, and tomorrow I'm going to sew and play with this new thing we got from the music store.
Then I heard your heartbeating, you were in the darkness too......So I stayed in the darkness with you.
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out.....You left me in the dark.
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight.....In the shadow of your heart.
The other morning.... a gift came to my door. Mind you it was rather early...early to me...and I was in fact in bed. So the doorbell rang, and my body immediately responded....jumping into action like 'oh, doorbell!' and my mind was like 'aaaahhhhhhh someone's going to die!'...and grumbling I got up to answer the door.
A black man...with glasses hands me a flyer thing....and says he's from so and so church and they are having some special Easter service thing-a-ma-jig...the messenger isn't the point....so long as you got the message. So I got this flyer, yeah, whatever, said thank you all nice like, cause he was nice and he did apologize in case he woke me up....close door, walk into kitchen...happen to read said flyer...well, close it back (it was folded like a card) and on the front...there it is...the gift.
And just for some pretense...I'm rather blunt with the boss man...and sometimes I feel like I scare him away, and he doesn't much pay attention to little ol me and my immature antics cause I'm still learning and I'm hard headed. And I'm impatient....though I try not to be...but I really can't help it. Once you've had a piece of heaven it is really freaking hard to pretend like you can wait to get another piece. Well...anyway....there's this journey I'm working on and I've been waiting for this particular item for quite some time now. Might not seem like a long time in the path to eternity and all...but I had almost either forgotten about it, or thought it was just another 'thought' that wouldn't come to pass in reality.
Well....I got it that morning...and once I read it, there was that odd silence in your head where you feel that tinge of epiphany and coincidence and can't do anything to hold that creeping smile from invading your lips. Ooooh, yes, that feeling like you really aren't living in your head, because you are holding it in the flesh, in your hand, and again you remember what really matters and what's really real, even if you're the only one that thinks so.
"You Are Invited" and that was all I needed.
I'm trying not to consider that the date on it was for the 14th. (Monday) cause that just happens to be the day before that other day.... which you could educated yourself about if you watched youtube videos and such...not that all those are true, but entertaining nonetheless.
I'm rather happy because of this said occurrence, and there's probably a few more thing-a-ma-jigs I've been awaiting, but sometimes I have really cool days.
In other news....work is totally sucking. I'm far behind and I go into these internal debates of whether or not my mental well being is at stake and whether it really is important whether or not I do a certain task now or later. Either way I win.... I'm not sure what I'm debating. Things get done eventually. Bummed that there's just a lot of things. Vacation coming up soon. So I keep telling myself anyway.
There's been a very odd vibration happening lately and I don't think I like it. Unsettling it is. Not the bad feeling stuff, but the unsettling kind...the kind that means occurrences in life similar to earthquakes, eruptions, and thunderstorms on a worldly scale.... like in your life, not on earth...unless you consider yourself earth..... ... yeah, I'm confusaling you. sorry.
Looks like we'll be in for a very turbulent ride for a bit. And this will be okay. Should be fun.
Like 'stopping by a music store and spending 300 dollars just because' kinda of fun. Or buying a part for something only to realize you need the more expensive part instead...just after you go to that music store kind of fun. Or having a kitten sniff your armpit like it is catnip and laugh because its funny and then he bites you there too kind of fun. ...oh there's so many more types of fun out there. I'm excited. Not because I like the frustration....but I do like the challenge. And you can't get to the boss man at the end of the game unless you complete each level. Of course, this particular boss man doesn't need defeated.....you do. It is ourselves we need to conquer. Our own frustrations, our own fears, doubts, illusions....and lies. Conquering ourselves in order to remember what we really are. And this is why thunderstorms are exciting, and why earthquakes are amazing, and eruptions are spectacular displays. Because we are such displays, we are these things....and what is a starry sky without a comet, or a song without vibration, or color without light. Let us be joyous in our trials.
Ugh, sorry, didn't mean to sound all blah blah fancy talkish. Too poetic I suppose. Anyway, watch for your invitation, make sure it's signed, and I'll see you at the banquet, I'll be by the fruit...or wherever the boss man is.
Later tators of green pickled strawberry patched kids., going to bed, and tomorrow I'm going to sew and play with this new thing we got from the music store.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
'The keys to the back door can be found in the earth'....no idea what that supposed to mean.
We are so broken. Shards of colored glass, with our jagged sharp edges and harsh corners. We cut, we slash, we find our way through the mess but leave a bloodbath where our footsteps have been. Us, the broken and shattered...and who will put us together again?
Stained. Red with blood, green with envy, like christmas. Who puts us together and hangs us upon a wall and calls us a beautiful stain-glass window?
Reflecting the light....reflecting, being transparent perhaps...but the light that travels through is also as broken as we are. Why do we block out so much of the light...and only a tint of it gets through?
We are one. One welded together in a frame, all of us broken pieces. Yet divided one from another. Who is it that could make us whole?
Like a coloring book, where every part is divided by a big black line....a big black line....and even if we are colored in, the picture gets colored, but we are still alone. Where are the black lines that divide our hands from our world? That divide us from one another? That divide us from something larger?
Is there any at all? Yet, we are divided.
Our front doors are locked, barricaded, masked, hidden, and covered....we don't want anyone to come in. What are we guarding that is so important? Why must we live alone?....
And the back door? Mysterious. How do we find the key? We leave it available, but with only a small lock....where is the key? There must be a way in. A way to reach them, to reach ourselves, to reach others.
Help me find the key....we are running out of time.
B U S Y. and I'm not liking that word very much. This whole week will require undivided attention. And the glass maker is going to have to meld us together because being stain-glass isn't working out, no matter how nice it looks. Let's just take the windows out and tear down the house while we are at it. I'd rather be outside where there are no doors, and there's only the gardener, and garden, and the flowers, and the stream.
I could post a list of what my days will most likely look like....but no, it doesn't matter. What gets done will get done, and what doesn't, doesn't. I'll do the best I can.
I could post a list of plans for the future....but even those tend to change from one to the other depending on the circumstances. I guess it depends if I feel bad that day.
ah yes...always at the mercy of the flesh. Just can't keep up with my aspirations.
Anyway...yada yada... Be sure to stay away from dairy (cheese, milk, maybe eggs too...) for the next few weeks. My youtube girl is predicting stuff. and well, I believe her...dairy is evil.
Think I'll go gather some biophotons today and hang out with some geomagnetic electrical grounding currents.
Stained. Red with blood, green with envy, like christmas. Who puts us together and hangs us upon a wall and calls us a beautiful stain-glass window?
Reflecting the light....reflecting, being transparent perhaps...but the light that travels through is also as broken as we are. Why do we block out so much of the light...and only a tint of it gets through?
We are one. One welded together in a frame, all of us broken pieces. Yet divided one from another. Who is it that could make us whole?
Like a coloring book, where every part is divided by a big black line....a big black line....and even if we are colored in, the picture gets colored, but we are still alone. Where are the black lines that divide our hands from our world? That divide us from one another? That divide us from something larger?
Is there any at all? Yet, we are divided.
Our front doors are locked, barricaded, masked, hidden, and covered....we don't want anyone to come in. What are we guarding that is so important? Why must we live alone?....
And the back door? Mysterious. How do we find the key? We leave it available, but with only a small lock....where is the key? There must be a way in. A way to reach them, to reach ourselves, to reach others.
Help me find the key....we are running out of time.
B U S Y. and I'm not liking that word very much. This whole week will require undivided attention. And the glass maker is going to have to meld us together because being stain-glass isn't working out, no matter how nice it looks. Let's just take the windows out and tear down the house while we are at it. I'd rather be outside where there are no doors, and there's only the gardener, and garden, and the flowers, and the stream.
I could post a list of what my days will most likely look like....but no, it doesn't matter. What gets done will get done, and what doesn't, doesn't. I'll do the best I can.
I could post a list of plans for the future....but even those tend to change from one to the other depending on the circumstances. I guess it depends if I feel bad that day.
ah yes...always at the mercy of the flesh. Just can't keep up with my aspirations.
Anyway...yada yada... Be sure to stay away from dairy (cheese, milk, maybe eggs too...) for the next few weeks. My youtube girl is predicting stuff. and well, I believe her...dairy is evil.
Think I'll go gather some biophotons today and hang out with some geomagnetic electrical grounding currents.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
you say it best....when you say nothing at all
It was frazzled and frayed out like it was cast through a whirlwind, tiny fibers sprawling every which way. Nothing calm in it's demeanor or appearance. There it lay on the side of the road in the rather littered grass. A feather, whitish gray with a darker tip. This poor frayed feather that seemed to be screaming, that seemed to be twisted from a chaotic experience.
A gift. A gift just so happening to resemble the frazzled mess I found myself in. I do love how He sends these gifts, and knew right away how grateful I was that He still remembers me, not that He forgets...but that I often do.
I picked it up and smoothed out the frayed feathery fibers. It took shape, from a tattered mess back into a rather beautiful feather. Smooth edges and able to carry the wind....able to fly. A beautiful feather full of peace once again, serene and calm. A feathered that reminded me of how we are. Sometimes challenged to the point where we find ourselves on the side of the road in a tattered mess with more questions than answers and more prone to see our frustrations rather than our blessings. But us....us who are repairable back to perfection, us who can take His hand, His gift, His love, and smooth out our own rough edges....find ourselves in that peace once again, serene and calm. Able to be carried by the wind....able to fly.
And these are the moments I get to have. We all could have if we just see. Gifts to carry us through everything. Everything.
Can't stay long as it is already late and still a dress needs finished to ship out tomorrow. But I had to make time for the story. The story of my day which really wasn't much of anything compared to one little feather. And how our lives aren't much of anything compared to Him. I'm such a sap sometimes....and I don't always make sense and I often don't designate names, and I often talk on thoughts based on numerous theologies and non theologies and science, and the future, and the present, and the stars, and the rivers, and those I call my very good friend, Mr. OMG INCREDIBLE, Batman, The Joker, Mr. Clean....and numerous others I can't recall right now. And really though, none of that really matters when you get humbled by a feather and you remember how awesome this life is. And the chaos....bless the chaos, because you'll never get to see the gifts without looking down every now and then.
Must go....will write again soon. No weird dreams unless you count a little boy who was a ghost and like to scare the crap out of me in my dream, wolverine, a lady who kept throwing up green stuff (like projectile vomiting! It was so gross)...other than that, I got nothing dreamwise. Lots and lots and lots of work to do, a few things to take care of this week, and trying to remember to work on that manifestation again...I slacked off and well...so did that stuff I was working on manifesting...ugh. And more work. Trying to hold out until my vacation in May. <--- new biz improvement right there...see I got something done! :)
A gift. A gift just so happening to resemble the frazzled mess I found myself in. I do love how He sends these gifts, and knew right away how grateful I was that He still remembers me, not that He forgets...but that I often do.
I picked it up and smoothed out the frayed feathery fibers. It took shape, from a tattered mess back into a rather beautiful feather. Smooth edges and able to carry the wind....able to fly. A beautiful feather full of peace once again, serene and calm. A feathered that reminded me of how we are. Sometimes challenged to the point where we find ourselves on the side of the road in a tattered mess with more questions than answers and more prone to see our frustrations rather than our blessings. But us....us who are repairable back to perfection, us who can take His hand, His gift, His love, and smooth out our own rough edges....find ourselves in that peace once again, serene and calm. Able to be carried by the wind....able to fly.
And these are the moments I get to have. We all could have if we just see. Gifts to carry us through everything. Everything.
Can't stay long as it is already late and still a dress needs finished to ship out tomorrow. But I had to make time for the story. The story of my day which really wasn't much of anything compared to one little feather. And how our lives aren't much of anything compared to Him. I'm such a sap sometimes....and I don't always make sense and I often don't designate names, and I often talk on thoughts based on numerous theologies and non theologies and science, and the future, and the present, and the stars, and the rivers, and those I call my very good friend, Mr. OMG INCREDIBLE, Batman, The Joker, Mr. Clean....and numerous others I can't recall right now. And really though, none of that really matters when you get humbled by a feather and you remember how awesome this life is. And the chaos....bless the chaos, because you'll never get to see the gifts without looking down every now and then.
Must go....will write again soon. No weird dreams unless you count a little boy who was a ghost and like to scare the crap out of me in my dream, wolverine, a lady who kept throwing up green stuff (like projectile vomiting! It was so gross)...other than that, I got nothing dreamwise. Lots and lots and lots of work to do, a few things to take care of this week, and trying to remember to work on that manifestation again...I slacked off and well...so did that stuff I was working on manifesting...ugh. And more work. Trying to hold out until my vacation in May. <--- new biz improvement right there...see I got something done! :)
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Ideas in space.
oooooooohhhh.... can you not feel it. it's happening. I've yet to see the blue smoke, thank goodness...but how long will we have until it piles out into the sky.
and these dreams....how they come in like a tsunami. ... a love story, and an assassination. What lies ahead in the next night is just another clue.
Can't you feel it? ....the energy is throbbing and building up and these little things you hear about in the news are all forerunners....things that are not truly important...but used solely as a distraction of the more important truths.... sleep little sheep...sleep....off to slaughter you are walking.
I watched some videos on astrotheology the other day (still working on the rest) and I'm a bit concerned. The guy is a genius and he is correct in just about all of it from a scientific theology point of view...all except 1. You see....the idea is that the universe is writing us...writing god, writing everything.... that everything is created by the universe/sun/star/light....which he refers to as God. In part that seems legit...but I digress. I'm guessing he has never met the Lord face to face. For if he had, he would know that it is Him that writes the universe, not the other way around. Just my thoughts. Very good videos though and rather intelligently put together. The guy is a genius, he just hasn't reached the point of going beyond what the eye can see. He'll get there.
Anyway. Reading this one book about a similar subject....but even it is a little off in their explanations of certain enlightened writings....I think the author is thinking too much. Should have just rewrote the writings and let the reader figure them out themselves....as everyone's perception is going to be different. ...kinda like reading the bible, lol. Should have just left it in the original language and let people translate it themselves....because certain translations are not as kosher as they seem.
.... thinking I shouldn't share my dream....as it involves an assassination (though not who you would probably expect) but it was weird. It was one of those things that happen before things 'really' start to happen. Kinda like today's news.... just be aware people...don't believe an illusion.
Know what that astrotheology guy said that stood out to me...that if you wanted to start a war and win it...start it on the spring equinox. .... although these videos were made years ago.... it seemed coincidental that we are approaching such a time...and we are right on the doorstep of such a predicament. But I also realize I had that love story dream first....and I really don't think we are going to have to worry about it. Our knight in shining armor was there all the way through the troubles...and in the end, sealed with a kiss.
Did I tell you how much work I've got? A lot. and I'm working on a new shop too....although I find it very hard to keep myself from buying fabric for it. Fabric I love, and couldn't buy before because I can't use that kind...and now I can, but I can't buy it, because I'm not sure how well I'll make money from the new shop just yet....argh....I love fabric. But I do have some I can list to start it off and see how well it goes...and I can use the funds from it to buy fabric!!! AAAAHHH! Like a shop solely to feed my addiction!! :)
And going to make big changes in my photography business here soon (I have 1 photo session that needs done first) before I can actually proceed with a vengeance. But regardless...I really don't care if I make money with it anymore, so long as I get the pictures I want. Yay! another business doing what I want instead of what others want! Go me!
Probably sell some of my gear too, which will pay for things like costume stuff! YAY!
And my book...dying to start on book 3!!! so I can get the story done (assuming I don't do book 4 separately) and then I can start on the opposite one that I dreamt about!!! Eek!
I'm such a dork!
And I think once we get this stupid Jeep fixed that I might just sell it. ugh...dead battery again!!! then I can pay off a bill or 2 and then go buy a new vehicle afterwards. Broken cars are not cool.
Must go clean house....then do laundry, dinner...then work work work...survivor comes on tonight and maybe I'll get to watch it this week...while working of course.
later peeps.
and these dreams....how they come in like a tsunami. ... a love story, and an assassination. What lies ahead in the next night is just another clue.
Can't you feel it? ....the energy is throbbing and building up and these little things you hear about in the news are all forerunners....things that are not truly important...but used solely as a distraction of the more important truths.... sleep little sheep...sleep....off to slaughter you are walking.
I watched some videos on astrotheology the other day (still working on the rest) and I'm a bit concerned. The guy is a genius and he is correct in just about all of it from a scientific theology point of view...all except 1. You see....the idea is that the universe is writing us...writing god, writing everything.... that everything is created by the universe/sun/star/light....which he refers to as God. In part that seems legit...but I digress. I'm guessing he has never met the Lord face to face. For if he had, he would know that it is Him that writes the universe, not the other way around. Just my thoughts. Very good videos though and rather intelligently put together. The guy is a genius, he just hasn't reached the point of going beyond what the eye can see. He'll get there.
Anyway. Reading this one book about a similar subject....but even it is a little off in their explanations of certain enlightened writings....I think the author is thinking too much. Should have just rewrote the writings and let the reader figure them out themselves....as everyone's perception is going to be different. ...kinda like reading the bible, lol. Should have just left it in the original language and let people translate it themselves....because certain translations are not as kosher as they seem.
.... thinking I shouldn't share my dream....as it involves an assassination (though not who you would probably expect) but it was weird. It was one of those things that happen before things 'really' start to happen. Kinda like today's news.... just be aware people...don't believe an illusion.
Know what that astrotheology guy said that stood out to me...that if you wanted to start a war and win it...start it on the spring equinox. .... although these videos were made years ago.... it seemed coincidental that we are approaching such a time...and we are right on the doorstep of such a predicament. But I also realize I had that love story dream first....and I really don't think we are going to have to worry about it. Our knight in shining armor was there all the way through the troubles...and in the end, sealed with a kiss.
Did I tell you how much work I've got? A lot. and I'm working on a new shop too....although I find it very hard to keep myself from buying fabric for it. Fabric I love, and couldn't buy before because I can't use that kind...and now I can, but I can't buy it, because I'm not sure how well I'll make money from the new shop just yet....argh....I love fabric. But I do have some I can list to start it off and see how well it goes...and I can use the funds from it to buy fabric!!! AAAAHHH! Like a shop solely to feed my addiction!! :)
And going to make big changes in my photography business here soon (I have 1 photo session that needs done first) before I can actually proceed with a vengeance. But regardless...I really don't care if I make money with it anymore, so long as I get the pictures I want. Yay! another business doing what I want instead of what others want! Go me!
Probably sell some of my gear too, which will pay for things like costume stuff! YAY!
And my book...dying to start on book 3!!! so I can get the story done (assuming I don't do book 4 separately) and then I can start on the opposite one that I dreamt about!!! Eek!
I'm such a dork!
And I think once we get this stupid Jeep fixed that I might just sell it. ugh...dead battery again!!! then I can pay off a bill or 2 and then go buy a new vehicle afterwards. Broken cars are not cool.
Must go clean house....then do laundry, dinner...then work work work...survivor comes on tonight and maybe I'll get to watch it this week...while working of course.
later peeps.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Inside out...inside out and outside in. Mirror.....look on the other side...
And we'll never be royals... we crave a different kind of buzzzz.........
Ooooh oh oh.... but we are. Royal...at least that's the way it feels...when you remember who you are. Yes, just like in the Lion King.
"So you have found your way." aaahhh...yes, not the words, but how He says them...with the truth that He never needed to drag us towards Him. This lesson in carrying ourselves....us stubborn children who get tired of walking and just want to be carried. Please carry me...carry me...pleas of not wanting to do anything but rest.....but He doesn't wait...and we walk on anyway. This lesson in walking forward....toward..... not that we need Him to carry us....but we need Him to have somewhere to go. Somewhere better...much better....and we don't even have to leave our home.
This is truth...because I was there with Him, and I heard Him....and I was merely laying in my front yard. How easy it is to just be there....and this time...this time....the veil was gone....or perhaps I was looking through a hole in it....and again....remembrance....forgetfulness is our human curse.
A different kind of buzz.... indeed we crave something other than all others. They would never understand. They couldn't...until it is what they crave too. Who are we....our kind....who crave what only our inner eye and our inner ears can hear. All else could fall away....and we would still have something to gain in Him.
Big plans...but sometimes they fall into stagnate waters. And I fail to rescue them....but idly watch them rot. Big dreams....but the world doesn't want to play with me. Big hopes....but I'm a firm believer in things working out for themselves and providing a path for me....hope has nothing to do with it. Maybe it's faith instead...doesn't really matter what you call it.
and then there's something....
oh well...I just ordered a book some may consider not along the path of righteousness....ha. we shall see..... shouldn't be as incredulous as 'the secret' psh. Even attracting things for real is way more legit than what that book related to.
Work, more work...but I have a system that seems to be working ...ok-ish. I'm still tweeking it.
Sleep....is on my mind, so I have to go...meant to really write something today...but I got sidetracked and decided to spend 45 minutes on amazon looking up books.....which I did buy one....well..I got it for free actually.
Anyway.... must go.
......let me live that fantasy..
Ooooh oh oh.... but we are. Royal...at least that's the way it feels...when you remember who you are. Yes, just like in the Lion King.
"So you have found your way." aaahhh...yes, not the words, but how He says them...with the truth that He never needed to drag us towards Him. This lesson in carrying ourselves....us stubborn children who get tired of walking and just want to be carried. Please carry me...carry me...pleas of not wanting to do anything but rest.....but He doesn't wait...and we walk on anyway. This lesson in walking forward....toward..... not that we need Him to carry us....but we need Him to have somewhere to go. Somewhere better...much better....and we don't even have to leave our home.
This is truth...because I was there with Him, and I heard Him....and I was merely laying in my front yard. How easy it is to just be there....and this time...this time....the veil was gone....or perhaps I was looking through a hole in it....and again....remembrance....forgetfulness is our human curse.
A different kind of buzz.... indeed we crave something other than all others. They would never understand. They couldn't...until it is what they crave too. Who are we....our kind....who crave what only our inner eye and our inner ears can hear. All else could fall away....and we would still have something to gain in Him.
Big plans...but sometimes they fall into stagnate waters. And I fail to rescue them....but idly watch them rot. Big dreams....but the world doesn't want to play with me. Big hopes....but I'm a firm believer in things working out for themselves and providing a path for me....hope has nothing to do with it. Maybe it's faith instead...doesn't really matter what you call it.
and then there's something....
oh well...I just ordered a book some may consider not along the path of righteousness....ha. we shall see..... shouldn't be as incredulous as 'the secret' psh. Even attracting things for real is way more legit than what that book related to.
Work, more work...but I have a system that seems to be working ...ok-ish. I'm still tweeking it.
Sleep....is on my mind, so I have to go...meant to really write something today...but I got sidetracked and decided to spend 45 minutes on amazon looking up books.....which I did buy one....well..I got it for free actually.
Anyway.... must go.
......let me live that fantasy..
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