Do you know those times when you really really want to believe in something and you are to the point that it sounds great and fantastic and way too good to be true? Times when you let yourself fall into this illusion of amazement or amusement and you let yourself get carried by the tides and you feel your so close....but yet you still stand outside yourself and watch how you are being deceived and just have to wait for yourself to wake up from the delusion, no matter how grand a delusion it may be.
And then when you finally manage to remember the only thing that really has proven to bring truth and you use that method...you wake up...and you sometimes are sad that you can no longer revel in a dazed bliss of ignorance like everyone else seems to still enjoy, but you have to go on and continue with a better plan....the better plan that was there from the beginning....and you're still happy, but you know you failed to distinguish things in the first place and you wonder if it will happen again...because of this amnesia of forgetting truth....forgetting it over and over...
We forget our teacher...and we start listening to ourselves, and it's when we rely on that...that we fail.
I haven't heard that Voice in many a long time....I could say it has been months, but maybe a week or two....it all feels like eternity either way, and every now and then there's something...but perhaps not the something we hope for...like that radiant joy or unveiling life altering event, sometimes it's just the quiet peacefullness of it, and it's like a calm stream, and we bask in the light of the sun after the rapids, and before what is to come.
We have this way of seeing what our minds cannot see...this stepping outside of ourselves. Here we can see where we've been, where we are, and even what is to come. In this place we can see Him...hear Him. The knowing of the truth and the trial and the thanks. Only when our minds remember this place do we realize we are never alone or forgotten....or ever left in the dark....
It's this world that casts a shadow over our memories and realizations and makes us forget where we came from and where we are going. ...... ...... do not fall asleep in this darkness.... we are not of this world. Stay awake and shine the light. Shine the light. Shine the light.
I've been lazy. I asked the boss man to handle everything for me. If it's complicated, I ask Him to handle it. If it's hard, I ask Him to take care of it. If I just don't want to do it, I ask Him to do it for me.
This seems to be working.... amen.
Oh...and if we love something....even if it's insane and irrational and totally impossible.... love it anyway. God is Love.
Not going to share regular everyday stuff with you this day....not that I don't want to or care at all....but I guess there's just too much to update on and I'm tired. It's now 2:53am and it's bed time and I kinda like sleeping, lol.
ya know.....I think there's something going all wacky lately.... I hope that weird sickness thing I had didn't go and change my dna for the worse.....hrmmm,...... I feel different somehow.... ... oh wow....look, no one to talk to about that....how nice....well....except for my very good friend....so...maybe....
g'night. Love you all. <3
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