Static clings to those who haven't discharged their electrons...? wtf am I talking about

 I'm here, but I must admit that I'm in the inbetween.
That place of static, where you are no longer on the previous channel...
and you certainly haven't honed in to a new channel either.
So there's static and jumbled music and screeching.
It's been a bit lonely and lost. Although I recognize these spaces and transitions really damn fast now.
However, I'm still working on accepting the time it takes to get from one channel to another.
Patience just isn't doing it for me.
It's been weeks... and rather I feel like I'm in one of those padded cells.
Nothing to see in the Aethers, barely anything to hear...although I can hear far better than seeing.
The Alchemist is around, but the visuals are awol.

He claims I need to decide what I want..
ya know, do the focus and feel the emotional vibration of what you want.
The actual process of manifestation...
But for some whatever reason, I am subconsciously ignoring the steps to meditate.
Like a compulsion to do anything BUT that.

and maybe it's just the new moon...
Or some astrological bullshit.
Maybe I'm stubborn and really do not want to get distracted on a side quest.
Maybe I want nothing... yet everything wants me...
mmm....
That resonates stronger than I expected... interesting...
I shall meditate on it, LOLOLOLOL!  or not, lol.





I'm still sitting here, distracting myself from just closing my eyes and feeling.
Yet, even now, writing about it... avoiding it like the plague.
Not even a type of 'NO' forceful avoidance, but a ...
'look at this other thing to look at or contemplate...don't pick up the phone and call 911...
cause there ain't no doubt..bye bye bye ....
and fuck me...

Going to yard sales tomorrow, just for fun.
Then to best buy for a tablet.
It'll be too chilly for having our own yardsale, so aiming for next weekend, weather cooperating.
There's still many tasks to do around the house.
Still lots of yard stuff.
Still awaiting the day a dirt guy comes and levels the yard for my pool to get set up again.
Still doing the things and showing up... although my workouts have been slacking this week...
we had storage units to move and clean out for two days... and I had errands 2 other days...
and while I did walk the dog today, I got a workout in yesterday....but that was it :(

I blame the fact that the doc is checking shit and I had to wear a heart monitor for 3 days...
and I'm pretty sure it's not my heart causing my physical inconveniences.
We will see...
but I'm betting on fluid build up...a bit of anemia...and/or a pinched nerve/disc in my back.

and I've got eggs. Lot of eggs. 1.5-3 dz per day, lol.

____

So I took a chunk of time and meditated...
I did all the things..
I made no decisions, only felt... and felt just energy.
Really soothing and I'd like to go to sleep now.
So yeah, thanks for that. G'night