just practicing writing so I can write a book soon

 45 truck loads of mulch by the way. a few bruises, some strained arms, maybe some more defined muscles... and the conundrum that I'm so unfamiliar with how to celebrate such an achievement...
Dinner out is meh... we don't need a reason to buy something either... a party and drinks out is for those normal people... food is meh... although I would love some steaks in bulk...if only I didn't have to buy them..*sigh...what is money again? What is celebrating anyway...being happy?? I'm happy anyways... weird that this is a strange anomaly...


I'm sad....cause I'm reading book 7 ...and it's going too fast...and I hate it, cause instead of reading book 8 next, I'll need to write it first  :(...
not that I don't enjoy writing and being surprised at what happens...but because it'll be slow... but maybe that's what I like anyway...and argh..
Maybe I'll make it 1000 pages and slow down the story a whole bunch so I can linger in it when I read it...

I'm still waiting for the first sentence to show up. Or the first scene perhaps... but while I kinda have a very very rough and half assed outline, we all know it'll be moot after so long...
How does it start, idk... I'm thinking it'll go deeper rather than more trauma for my characters...cause I love them and they be needing some well earned rest from trauma...
oh wait...

Also still writing the other book...which I'm not sure where it's headed right now, things have shifted tremendously the last few months. It's not long enough... I want longer. Way way longer so when I ever read it again, it'll be a long long long time before I'm finished...
cause who doesn't want to spend extra time with The Alchemist?

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So...look...this meditation thing, I've been fairly consistent with, but while I'm *winning... it's way different and my mind and body want me to do it awake...which is a whole different thing than sitting with my headphones and eye cover... but fulfilling and while I haven't predicted too much of the future in front of people for kicks... I have a strong inkling that I could manifest easily anything I want.
(not that I couldn't anyway), however, I'd usually have to really really want it.
I'm pretty sure that's no longer a requirement anymore... it's pretty cool.

And art... I think I'll do that without hating on it and being a complete judgemental ass with myself about it. ( I think, don't hold me to it...) - I started to sketch something out, but I was totally like, I don't want to sketch it at all...so I erased whatever I started and now that my commissions are finished, I can begin on it... it's one of my dice game rolls anyway...which I am also *winning.

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I call dibs next life on my hubs.
You can't have him.


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I still look at you with eyes that want you.
When you move you make my oceans move too.
When I hear my name, I will run your way.
Can we say that we love each other?
Can we play like there ain't no other?
When I hear my name, I will run your way.


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