Must stop by to write. Even though reality is yelling at me to step it up a notch and get 'real' things done.
But what is real? Picture printed, pictures edited, sewing, painting, cooking, cleaning? Are those the things that produce fruit? I suppose random thoughts and provoking inspirations don't cut it, do they? Or are they enough, if by chance they produce feeling, thought, ideas, beginnings, ends, change, stillness, movement, heartbeats, thunder, and calm? Maybe things that seem like nothings...are somethings. Maybe you just can't see the results right away. Maybe those things take time....like a garden. Like growing fruit. But maybe I'm wrong.
These recent weeks have been about control.
And how little we are in control of. Silly humans. Thinking we can plan and predict, and draw out our route with precision and security.
May we say something about how little we actually can control....which may only be our voluntary movements...and that about sums it up. We are not in control. We can never be in control. And this is a wonderful thing.
There seems to be only one way to sever ourselves from this turmoil of 'trying' to be in control....and that is to give it up. To give up our measly attempts to conjure up some rational safety net, to give up our sense of having provisions, to give up our ideas and thoughts about how we can prepare and 'fix' things, or how we can do A and B to get C. Hahahaha. Silly humans. No matter what we do, we are not in control, and thinking we are is silly. When it does work out like we hope, it's because it was meant to, to bring us where we need to be. When it doesn't, it's because we need to be somewhere else...or some'time' else. We are just the story, not the author.
So what's new here in 'real'ity? Sewing work...oh wait, that's not new.
I just ran out of ink...which means I can't cut out any more appliques...which is totally fine with me! for now anyway.
I really do have to sew tomorrow though. I'd like to take pics, but its hard to focus....like really hard. Ugh. No pun intended.
Lots and LOTS of other things that need attention are piling up, so I'm hoping things will smooth out soon. This is where we know we can't control the outcomes...only to place that faith into a higher account with the boss man who can totally handle it all. Reminds me of house buying...bunches of chaos and no way to 'fix' it....but the boss man had it all figured out from the start....and everything just falls into place...because He put it there for that purpose all along. I'm almost super excited to see how things work out....while doing my best to ward off stress and worry, lol. It will be wonderful, just gotta remember that patience is always required.....and that too will be sent my way because I can't for the life of me create it myself.
Other than the chaos.....
I'm in the very early stages of starting 2 new businesses! Lol. Although I'm a bit disappointed that I haven't had focus time to work on the photography like I want to....because of business #1 which usually pays for groceries, gas, and taekwondo for the kids...and so, all else must follow after. BUT business #2 (aka: photography) has some in the works photoshoots....but we are waiting on things like props, not so hot days, and a slot in line with business #1...because I have to make some things for a certain number of those photoshoots.
#3 is in research stage still....but I'm planning right now to bring it into 'let's see if this is worth my time/energy/patience' stage. In other words, test stage.
Biz #4 is due to a wild attempt to impress hubby, lol. But I know I can totally rock it out. Just need some of that time/energy/patience to come my way. My first sample test is sitting behind me.....but the fact that if I do succeed in not giving up and my attempts not turning out 'eh'.... then it has the possibility for making big bucks. And money, my friends, just so happens to be one of my ambitions....hence the reason I still have business #1 even when it drives me batty!
Of course, I'm not really attached, so I'm okay with just cashing out and go spend my time playing piano and writing my book.....cause Book 3 is starting to get too full in my head...and will have to come out soon....my writing laptop has been confiscated by the 11 year old, but until I can get either her or me a replacement....when I'm ready to write...I must regain possession.
haha.....My story... in book 3....ends with a really really good part...which just today seems to coincide with something 'real' ...or real to me anyway.... and I think it's awesome.
sooooo......nothing much else I can write about on here. I can say that taking medicine sucks, and some doctors suck, and I think lawyers so far are pretty awesome....assuming they are on your side of course!
Renters are...uh...not really fun, so please refrain from ever being a landlord. What a PITA! Would be so nice if someone would buy it instead. One of those things that need attention....oh, but no one answers their phone nowadays even when they carry it in their pocket.
Want some random thoughts? Of course you do!
the other night I dreamt I was on a train and we all were in some group, like a class or something....and Johnny Depp was there dressed as Jack Sparrow...and I was so excited and happy for him to come sit by me and he was like 'I don't think these other people know who I am' because they were ignoring him, lol.
Ok, I'm tired, going to bed. Can't think of anything else important. Later gators.
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