So....the conversation was enlightening. And now....this word.... 'deserve'....has been decoded...debunked...demoted into what it really is.
De-serve ...De-serving...di-serving....this dis-service to ourselves.... Who are we to even judge ourselves....for we would condemn ourselves quickly and easily. Guilty.
Split into two....we are such a fatal species.
And He asked if I deserved my punishment I bestowed upon myself? But I couldn't answer Him. I wasn't even that good of a judge much less jury and executioner. He didn't see anything worth condemning. He didn't see a need for me to be swallowed up by the darkness...the rain, the muck, the cold. "Come here." He pulled me out of that muddy corner and set the sunlight upon my face. "Choose love." He would say.
Choose love. Yeah. Love is all you need, for reals.
And when we can impart that into every breath....that will be the indwelling. Choosing to love all, even ourselves.
There was this song I just heard...and it's probably old, but it said something about hoping you fall in love and it hurts so bad...the only way to know is to give it all you have... but there was this image that cast through my thoughts....a standing to toast every moment, good, bad, ugly, beautiful.... ah yes, everything.
....I'm not sure where the day went, but tomorrow is already planned and I don't like that monopolizing evidence. Sewing work, obviously. Writing the end of chapter 29 (I'm totally like 2 paragraphs away from Chapter 30) Which will be the last chapter besides the short epilogue. Dinner...no idea what's for dinner. And that dreaded twiddling of thumbs waiting on a w-2 form.... oh the joy.
Otherwise....very insightful things lately and hopefully you've noticed. Goodnight....er...good morning?
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