...
when we try to remember what we were doing when
things came simply and easily and there wasn't any of that 'trying' shit
... those things.. not even mattering what those thing actually were..
are only yesterday's rung on the ladder...
and because we shifted and stepped to a different place...
those things aren't easily fitting in the keyholes anymore.
they don't open the new doors
the old keys don't fit...
and things don't get unlocked
new levels require new treasures...
and we don't even have to remember what we are looking for
and we carry this toolkit around...piling up the things we used that worked...
but as with technology... your windows 7 disc is obsolete....
and your coax cables are a joke
and you can't plug the atari in to anything new....so you better hope that box tv still works.
Time to drop the tools...
we don't need to fix
or plan
or arrange
or use all the cool trickety-tricks we once used that worked brilliantly.
some that worked like magic...like those times when you made $100 a day right on schedule....the whole month... ;) only because 'of course you did' and you were fascinated with every fucking color you saw like a real creep... and somehow this process milked cash like an organic dairy farm.
or when you bought that accordion for someone else... and was gifted with that stainless steel wok you waited so long to find! <3 and it was like $20... (and it is a $125 wok if you buy it online!)
...
and for the love of all the stars....
patience is such a divine gift to have...
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I'm calling forth an uprooting
and a pouring out of the tool kits
and a dance around the fire of freedom
because we are always provided for... in every moment...all ways, at all times...
and we don't have to carry anything with us
we are set free
and as our clothes litter the ground, and our flesh peels away, and all our coverings abandoned...
we still have everything we are
everything...
all the things...
provided, fully, forever
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...
I think I'm on Chapter 15...maybe 16... (?) I can't remember....
and gahhhhh!!!! I luvs me some book characters like no one's business.
...and I'm almost at the end of my sloppy and erratic outline... but there's still more...
and I don't know what's gonna happen! I'm so excited to find out!
things are gonna get brokens... :( I have this dude named Eridon who is under Reyna's spell...cause she's a sorceress...and he's gonna fuck some shit up... like smashing castles to the ground kinda stuff)
Sewing orders.... Almost done with one... Almost done with two...
2 more than I need to do... and they are simple... but Brain is on hiatus...
Once 1 is done... then 2 will get done... and then 3 and 4 will be like nothing...
and then...I can start on the wall.... <3
(no guarantee I won't do that tomorrow though... cause
There's plenty of things to do... but I'm not doing them...
I wish I had more time to meditate actually....
book writing at night does no good in working in conjunction with meditating...
and morning meditation...I'd be lucky to get 20 minutes... considering book writing at night does not guarantee any such schedule such as going to sleep at a certain time.... so it might be midnight.... it might be 3am.... and 1pm wake up hour is not in alignment with meditating very often....
I'm rambling! I love it when I do that and get nowhere....but in circles circles circles...
like a merry-go-round...
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no aether lands... (see previous paragraph) but I did chat with the Alchemist earlier today...
until I forgot I was chatting with him... and well....
I will make an effort to stay in connection better...
I did have a chat with someone in transition... so that was weird...
meh...
I gotta go!
Kyle call!
later peeps!...
oh wait PIC!!!
...
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