Wednesday, November 9, 2011

...procrastinating

feeling poor and broke, and achy...
no money, no energy or will to get up and get things done....however I started piddling with my new yudu screen printing machine this morning only to stop when I realized I can't get the emulsion film off without emulsion remover....I tried everything we have except gas (cause I can't find the gas can) but paint remover, lighter fliud, and vinegar, and goo off does not work....so I have to wait till I get some real stuff...boo/hiss, I was all prepared to waste my day playing with it too.

I need to get sewing work done too, like seriously, but I found myself watching youtube videos and seeing how much money we do not have in my bank account, so I haven't made it in there yet....I totally suck! UGH! Nothing will get done if I can't get my head on straight....something is definitely in the air or it's the moon or something.....cause I could care less what gets done that past few days...
derby practice is tonight, guess I should go, only to fight the resistance, even though if something just so happens to go wrong, i could be persuaded to just stay home and be less proactive...idk. I'm in one of those 'I don;t give a shit' moods.... I hate this.

Anyway, I think the world is about to go straight to hell...something is seriously up, really, can't you feel it? Things are going whacked and there's a heavy pressure lingering..idk, something just feels weird.
I haven't had any bad dreams thankfully, but it's not Friday yet...and we all know Friday is 11-11-11...and all that stupid stuff they freak out about on youtube is supposed to happen that day or something...yeah, whatever, i doubt it. Because I just know I will have to finish my orders and still end up having to deal with that one certain annoying customer who just won't go away...ugh...I am trying to be polite...I really am...but I just can't keep dealing with them...
But on the bright side, thanksgiving week is coming up and I am freaking leaving! Unless that all hell stuff breaks loose. and when I get back I will just finish up what I need and freakin disappear.... I will never sew up a custom again or so help me.... ugh!!!! I hate my job.

But on a brighter note, i have seriously realized that what I do for my job/hobby is something that is earned and learned over trial and error and not ever doing it the old people way...and by george I do it highly well....and even though I still haven't figured out my new machine and I still don;t know how to pronounce many terms or even read a stupid sewing pattern....I do it well...... and I think my prices should reflect that.....
because I have hired help....and some do a great job, and some do not, and for doing a certain technique....it seems only I can do it well......that or they are rushing and do not care if it turns out looking like crap....
and then I have to go 'fix' their shit...which in turn pisses me off and I no longer give them work to do...oh well.....I tried, but I can't sell things with my name on it if it looks like crap. ugh...
yes, i'm complaining....when I should be complaining about how much food costs...or the fact that our water jugs we order won;t be in till Friday...and well, i kinda would like them in now before the shit hits the fan in the case it actually does.....although we all know it won;t, because the world wants to stick it to me and wants me to finish paying our bills and still manage to buy food to feed ourselves too....
but then again....we have an almost paid off house and a running vehicle, and hot water, and coffee...oh coffee...I'll be back in a sec...

as I was saying....I kinda like having that stability and technology stuff...it's nice and I don't take it for granted...except maybe ink pens...I just always expect them to work and I get mad if they don't, lol. and my mini laptop...because I would die if it was messed up since book 2 is on it and I have 13 chapters already written on there!!!
My kids and the pets, and that laptop is all what I would have to grab if the house was on fire, lol. I'll take the phone too so I can call the fd!

anyway boring rambling, sorry...want something pleasant and memorable?.....let me think....
did you know....that Saturn will be exiting the sign of Virgo on the 11th...did you know Saturn holds a sickle? hmmm...interesting...Do you think you will be considered the wheat or the weed? or a hybrid?...hmmm....I'm a tree, so have fun with that ;)

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