Last night I had so many things to write about, but I talked myself into staying in bed and not getting up to write on a stupid blog that no one reads anyway. I think by now I have forgotten a few of those things I should have written about....but you're in luck. I remember 2 (and they are the most important anyway), but I also think I have another to include as well....so if this seems long to you, I guess you'll get over it.
I have this very good friend. The kind that simply turns rather difficult frustrating things into simple, 'oh duh!' things instead. This is why they are a very good friend.
So there was this moment I was having....where you're standing in this dark place....(I use metaphors ALOT! So if you don't get it, I guess you won't get it.) A place where you are screaming like a tired and cranky and spoiled 9 year old....to where you know what you want, exactly what you want and you won't accept anything else because it is not what you know you are looking for. A place where you are angry and frustrated and just want to strangle the air between what you want and yourself....yes strangle the air to remove it. Strangle the air, strangle the body and literately put to death everything that is standing in the void. Where you know exactly what you are here to seek and then being swarmed by thousands of things that you know are not that which you came to see. Knowing who you came to see...and this air is in the way...this body, that body, the air....all these lies....this veil.
And I ramble on in a fit because I continue to forget that who I came to see isn't anywhere out there....anywhere out there.....
So this friend of mine, smacks me in the head.... "What are you doing?" ...with this serious gaze of 'hello cuckoo bird'. And I look over and complain about how you can't strangle the air or destroy this void...
"Why are you looking out there?" Confused look as he glances 'that' way....
"Oh." ...duh...what am I looking at over there, that way, up there, somewhere out there, thatta way..... and I remember once again....thank you friend.
So I revert back to something less tantrum inducing and more understandable and simple and find who I'm looking for....standing there all quiet like...as He is most of the time anyway....
Did He say saomething? I can't remember...but He knelt down and brought His forehead to mine and I think we 'went' somewhere...I can't explain that, I have no clue, I don't remember. Damn amnesia.
Yeah, so those were the 2 things in one....not explaining, so if you read and are going 'huh??' then you are just out of luck.
I noticed today that my neighbor's address numbers are 911....and no, I don't think that has anything to do with anything. Just stating a random 'oh' moment.
We went trick-or-treating with the kids too.....Yes we trick-or-treat and wear costumes...well I didn't this year...but most of the time I do. And I don't care if some of you out there think it's of the devil 'hissss', lol. If you feel like educating yourself before thinking everything outside of your box (prison) please go to google and look up Halloween....ugh. I will not educated idiots....as I prefer to lean on the side of ...Let those who are stupid, continue to be stupid. Anyway, I asked the boss man before and we are cool thank you. You don't have to though, no big deal, I don't care. good for you.
Of course I do enjoy a nit pick fight about Christmas now and then. I can't stand it, but I will buy random stuff when it is on sale, cause it is on sale! And I will wrap stuff up and give it away, cause its fun cleaning up the mess, and even though I do not own a big green tree, I do have some small neon colored ones, and a black one too, lol. I'm not pagan though, they're just freaking plastic look like really bad colored trees. Jesus wasn't born in December anyway....educate yourselves....Christmas was a coverup so the pagans could keep their winter solstice party and wouldn't get beheaded by the crusades....among other things. Santa Claus is just stupid. St. Nicholas was a person, and no reindeer do not fly, but if you are flying overhead in a helicopter they look like they aren't touching the snow while running :)
The tooth fairy is only real when you loose a tooth and get money...and the Halloween fairy is real, because my kids cannot keep and eat all that candy on their own, lol....gosh people get a life, live it. Let people do things the way they want to. So long as they aren't hurting someone else, shut up. If they don't want to do it your way, great! Kids won't grow up to be savages.....unless of course you don't parent them and rely on their peers to raise them....but that's another story in itself, lol.
Oh dang...I remember another thing...
There was this big huge gate (like a castle gate)...it was reddish in color and raising up slowly, and these big huge bugs came out of it, but they had faces...kinda like alien faces with big eyes, but had noses and mouths...I'm not sure if they were riding these huge grasshopper things or they were the grasshopper things??? I was standing at the gate as it lifted and these things started coming out, a few of them stopped to look at me but continued on. I tried to see more...but as of right now I can't rememeber all of it...argh!
BUT I think that whole idea about the first being last and the last being first had something to do with the gate....and the way people actively seek certain things and others only take into account what comes their way....kwim? Whether you put things on hold to do other things or actively embrace them now defines how long it will be when you are allowed in??maybe? idk.
My hands are freezing! It's cold down here. Gotta go.
Chocolate....why does all chocolate candy have milk in it?? :( WHY!? AHHHH!!!
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