Here's you a loopy cord, hold on tight now

*sigh.... I'm struggling here.
Something 'feels' all wrong somehow, but I haven't a clue what it could be. Maybe it's just me and my lack of carbs today or the wet dampness without sunshine. Or maybe it's the world.
Maybe it's the lack of money, or lack of chocolate. Maybe it's nothing to do with immediate resources, but everything to do with the energy that is pumping up from the earth. This 'bad' frequency. And it's been flowing ever so thickly for the last 3 days. One that continuously leaves you feeling a bit angry, a bit sad, and tries to convince you that you are worthless and powerless and absolutely sold on some huge fairytale.
You try to shake yourself out of this stupor, these radiating waves that crash into you over and over and over and over, but even if your brain finds it footing, it's left watching helplessly as your emotions drown in the roaring sea.
We can't save ourselves....

So our logic tells us that reality is as such...and proof unfolds bountifully. Emotions tell us that there is more, it knows there's plenty more than what our brains say exist because its our emotions that remember. The brain often forgets. We may not remember the words, or the reason....but we remember the love, and the joy, and the feeling of having that love. You can't say it doesn't exist if you have ever felt it. The brain will bow to those emotions....because emotions never forget.
People say not to let your emotions run your life. I disagree. The only thing that was ever real is what they have seen and known. The brain tries relentlessly to overpower them...but that love cannot succumb to those pleas. It knows there is 'more' than what the brain can interpret. And when the emotions have a fit of remembrance...a visit to a long past memory....the brain is then silenced....because the eyes will still shine with joy at that memory...and the lips will still smile on cue. For the emotions rule with a consuming fire.

I wonder if those emotions travel across time. Perhaps other lives, or perhaps back to where it began. When there's a pulling so strong toward something your brain has never witnessed. And you may not remember, but a part of you still aches for something...someone. And it/they must exist....they must. If they didn't, your love would only be here before your eyes.


Forget it. I'm not in the mood to explain crap. I'm cold, a bit tired, and bit sad, and do not have the slightest urge to complete my last 2 orders.
I'll try in the morning and prevent myself from checking email first, so I don't get lost on the world wide web. I'm also hoping I can make some sales here soon, since being super broke is no fun, and bills still need paid. Food still needs bought, and no clue how I'm going to get the fabrics I need just yet.

Otherwise besides these most irritating 'feeling(s)' and this aching pull that I'm missing someone, I'm rather good.
The boss man and I had a chat (yeah, finally words!) and I got a simple answer to a simple question....a real answer this time instead of another question that answers your question. Anyway, you'd think I'd be all giddy and excited about that, but I'm just kinda ...'oh, ok' and I know, that's lame for me to be like this, but it's not me...it's the earth vibes or something.

We were watching McGuyver today and they were using a phone...with a loopy cord, lol. And thinking how great it would be if he just had a cell phone to call for help. Wasn't that only maybe 20 years ago? Ugh....makes you wonder where we will be in another 20 years.