Do you know what's funny....
I used to live up in the boonies....far far away, on the mountain (well....more like a big hill, but 'they' call it a mountain, psh!). Anyway...we lived next to the woods....lots of woods, overlooking a nice little valley area. It snowed every year, at least a few times...and if they said it 'might' snow, we were getting snow. Lots of bugs, ticks, fleas, bees, giant ass hornets. Very few squirrels, mosquitoes and other creatures except there was an ample supply of predatory birds that circled the valley behind the house.
So this place was far from anything per say. 1 crappy walmart within a 15 minute drive 1 way. You were screwed if you needed anything else other than gas or car parts.
So we lived there for...oh...about 10 years. Tried to grow grass for those 10 years unsuccessfully and only saw 2 deer within view from the house during those 10 years, a few turtles, a few snakes, only 1 rattler though. The girl claimed she saw a massive black bird-like creature flying behind the house, bigger than the car. I saw shadows in the yard quite often, and the dogs were convinced every night that boogie men were in the forest.
Now we live back in society. In the valley, but up on a hill. No huge woods, but we have a wooded area far behind the house. Not too many bugs (at least not yet, we've only been here since late Sept.) Thousands of squirrels, falcons, hawks, owls, raccoons, fox, among other creatures we get to see, and including that turkey the other day nibbling at something in our yard. Stores within 'sure, I'll run out to pick it up' distance. Grass in the yard already. Dogs still bark at the boogie men, and the radio tower I once saw that UFO fly by is in the distance.
Now it seems that instead of this...ugh...snow....'I wonder if hubby can still make it to work' thought....I have this ..'ohhh!! Maybe snow, yay!' thought. Cause at least if we build a snow creature in the yard, all the people who drive by can appreciate it. Not that they would.....these city folk who rush to the store to buy their milk and bread for fear of being trapped by a whole foot of snow!!! AHHH!!...hahaha....I like snow. I like my cabinets full of food....(mind that maybe I have more boxes of cake mix than potatoes) and a fireplace for the power outages...ooohh...power outages...like that didn't happen every freaking year up that mountain...hill place.
Anyway...I still own it. But I think the appreciation of the good things is what living without them develops. Kinda like if you lived on the beach...it wouldn't be so great after a long while...with the salt, and sand, and wind, and constant sound. The barren horizon. But visiting there, you appreciate the heat, the sun, the barren horizon, the sand...the sound, the wind, ....the hotel that has the 10 pools....oh sorry...just thinking about my beach vacation I will not be taking next year....unless of course they want to send me 50% off and all, without a minimum stay. I'm poor...with all these 2 mortgage payments, and a fridge to pay off and that other stuff I need to pay for.
I really should be getting work done. Well, I did a lot so far sewing wise, but I need to prep some other print out stuff. I thought of something earlier I was going to write about, but I have forgotten since then so now I'm basically rambling.
My internet has been horrible today. The people who complain about nothing have been dealt with. The hard part of the set I'm working on is finished...and will be complete tomorrow. I'm dissatisfied with the way certain things are going. I'm still thinking about that movie...and how it does an excellent job at portraying the human condition and God even though it doesn't directly imply it. That was what I referred to as the gift I got from it.....so now I'm doing that end of the year sweep of ..oh....everything. Mainly because I'm not the least bit afraid of doing it....yeah....like clearing the chakras, but at a total level. This comes in to play with my resolution to be selfish.
Oh!! oh oh oh! Let me tell you how incredibly awesome my very good friend is!!! OMG! Total kick-ass friend! He is very freaking incredible and even Mr. OMG, INCREDIBLE is sure to be aware of it!
I'm probably going to freak half of 'you who still read this lame ass blog' out pretty soon...so be warned....just one of those phases....I'll be fine once everything realigns and all. But it's kinda a situation to where you turn your inner world into utter chaos and catastrophe to be 100% sure on what you are basing your life on...and it needs to be done. So if I say some not so awesome stuff, or even total contradictory stuff, or even omg, wtf stuff.....be passive and just let me have some time to realign the truth to where it needs to be. As we can't believe everything all the time...it must change....and only what survives the chaos can become sacred....and in turn another rod of iron to build your foundation upon. Yeah...like the boss man....even what we believe about Him.....needs to be able to survive the destruction, or what we thought was not the truth......Test the spirits we must.....but tis our own that must be put through the harshest trials.
And this is where you'll find me.
burning...blazing...set afire in the furnace of the stars....like the sun...
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