In... then let it go...
Out...
you must let it out...
or it will become stale, used, dead.
like energy that is held too long.
like energy.
the life of your objects...
the life of your money...
the life of your body...
the life of your words...
the life of your dreams...
wring it out if you must
express it out of you
burn it all the way out
scream it
dance it
whatever you must do....
you must do the thing
use the energy, it's here for you
it never runs out
use it up, and it will never cease coming...
the more you use, the more will come.
the more you get rid of, the more you get
the more you spend, the more you get paid
the more you move, the more you can move
the more you breathe, the more breaths you take
the more you write, the more words come
the more you do the thing, the more things you are
____________________________________________________
I can't hear you, your fears talk too loud.
life...my friends... fucking do the thing.
and that other thing too
and all the things
whatever bitch you have living inside you that says you can't...
don't kill her... she's immortal... just like you...
kiss her... and take her with you on that thing you 'can't' do
and dance with her on the way to pick up that thing you 'can't' have
....remember
.... it's not that you 'can't'.
.... it's that you won't.
everything is for you
everything
if it's inside you, it can be outside of you too
just decide it will be
_______________________________________________________
Chapter 8, btw
searching endlessly for a media console...
I must be hard to please, because many of these things are fugly.
or the wrong color... or too short... or open shelves... (I'm not a dust mop, yo)
or they are awesome, but are not as exciting when it comes to the $$$
it's okay.... relationships take time... ? don't they? wait...
yeah, so I'm looking for a media console I'm in love with... to make a part
of my living room family...
like that picture I just bought... I only wish they had a correlating one to go with it.
soooo........ let's introduce the situation I find myself watching...
I pay off a debt... like for reals, right...
then within a week...probably less.... I spend twice as much, lol
but I've decided I will and it all feels really awesome to do...soooo
I'm trusting the universe here and just doing that allowing thing...
allowing myself to do/have/be the thing.
yeah, all the things.
whatever I want...or in this past week's case... whatever the oldest wants.
do I spoil the kids...? no. but I certainly support them and their ideals.
Cause I support my own, yo!
so math classes and a birthday computer....
I got a picture... and some paint...
totally fair.
all is fair when you're good to yourself.... then you can be good to others.
ENERGY, baby!
ALLOW
the etymology of the word allow means - to praise
Praise yourself
Praise - is to prize --- so PRIZE yourself
to place a value on.
Value yourself
You are fucking worthy.
Etymology. Look it up.
Everything you say is a spell.
So fucking cast a love spell and enjoy the ride.
_________________________________________________
and then let's get real....
there's these random thoughts of wanting to control and 'fix' things
like situations, or in more of a exact case... having the youngest not be on the computer all day.
but ...see... you got to know yourself, yo.
if you pull him off because of need for control...
both trust and respect are sacrificed.
you can ask, and he'll take a break, yeah... but then you question if it was enough.
if you ask what he wants to do, indecision reigns and there's no where to move to.
then it becomes nothing but a repetitive motion... not what you want
but if you allow....
and you let go....
and you trust....
and let the world move you instead of you moving it...
and we talk... and we trust... and we move....
it may not appear we move much...or in any particular direction...
but there's something that grows...
whether that's trust, or respect, or love... we won't know unless we continue.
and I trust the universe
and I trust myself
and I trust my son
and I trust everything
---- and the need to 'fix' is let go. And I trust I'm in a better place.
and he's in a better place than one trying to be controlled...
Be free, child of the future.
They'll need to see your freedom.
They'll need to know how to say 'no' to doing things the hard way.
They'll need to see how to allow, how to trust, and how to move quietly in the chaos.
How to be strong and keep hold of their truths. Because you never bend to the control of others.
Be strong. Be wise. Be all that you dare.
I will not thwart your power that you hold close. The same power you've yet to show everyone.
But dear child... I'm one with energy and I can feel it, if not see it, within you.
And I know when one shines brighter than I.
I love you.
I will choose for you to be free.
I will allow you to be.
I give you this honor, as your mother, as your guide, as your friend.
__________________
what else you got?
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