He throws these questions out when I simply looked to him for one of his quotes...
and this is what he gives me...
I wasn't prepared for a question...
now I have to think...
but I suppose it's better than anything on facebook right now...
it's 'infected'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
and I'm slightly concerned that when I go to Target they actually will be out of toilet paper...
like...why is this a thing...
are we going to have to install a bidet or a poo hose...?
then what do we dry with?? All these questions for my primitive mind...
...
I should take the time to see what they used (will use) in the past/future...
like in Atlantis and ...later...
in the better days...
___
anyway.... new paradigm... and what am I going to do with it...
I'm trying to guess, cause I really don't know...
I know what he's talking about, yet...
'do' with it??
I would think I would flow along with it and take it in stride...
but there's something behind his words... that maybe I can excel something
like a potential that only needs a slight kick in the butt
(please forgive me for already saying 'do', and 'butt', while also mentioning toilet paper)
(completely not intentional)
but what shall that be? I dare ask?
"New perceptions, new choices." He says....
...
"A new center."
He says, more intently, knowing I'd catch onto that like a fly to peanut butter...
oh, but not a new center, so much as a deeper center...
there's something here... something I can feel so much as one can feel their hand in water...
it's not flimsy and untouchable like the wind...
the way it used to be...
no,
I just dove into it, not even 30 minutes ago...
and it's like water... more feeling... more depth...
and even if it's still ungrasp-able...
it soothes and has a malleable form...
this is new...
I look at my hand as I pull it from the liquid...
the droplets falling slowly, like they attached to me far longer than they should have
like a magnet, one that simply needs recharged...
and the hurricane would rise up within...
and we'd be unstoppable...
this chaos in me... this calm... this tremendous absolute miraculous being
and sometimes the words fall short of the feelings and the visions and the endless heavens
...but we try anyway...
I glance up to him, fully ready to receive whatever else he wants to throw my way
"It is simple. But even simple things need a solid vessel."
He pours water in a vase... one that has a rounded bottom, the kind that doesn't easily knock over...
"Whatever decor you put in the vase, never takes away from the purpose it serves."
He stands next to it, humoring the flower arrangement he selected...
(I don't think he's much of a flower guy... they look kinda tacky O_O )
(Even the vase is kinda dull looking, even if it be solid and sturdy... I do not dare comment)
My thoughts catch up to his words... and as vessels, we are always serving our purpose...
which is to hold god... ourselves... our souls... our consciousness to reveal and express outwards...
... his flowers aren't that tacky...
and the vase is neither dull or ugly...
But he's standing next to them... and everything is dull except him.
He glances back my way.
"You keep falling back into thinking your purpose is for them..." He smiles a slight bit, almost thinking I was cute trying to accommodate these people...
"But it's never for them." He looks back at his flower arrangement.
"We want you to come home." His eyes are soft and his words are softer. He doesn't look back my way, but I already knew why he wouldn't turn back to me in this moment.
I felt the tug. Like an anchor. Calling me with all the voices it had.
Wanting nothing more than for me to fall back into that center....
That Center...
That's where we all were. And just like the water...separated by vases...
all serving a purpose by bringing forth our flowery decorations...
we were the life...
an he was there.... calling me home...
not even wanting to debate over the flowers...
or observing the vases....
..
just being the water...
being life
and carrying us all...all of us...all of me... together within
"And how can I stay?" I whisper.
"Don't shake the water." He turns to me like it was a stupid question and grimaces.
like a huge 'duh' from the aether worlds.
god, I love him.... and also kinda want to smack him
he steps over to me... and maybe too close... but probably enough to make sure I hear every word
"The stiller the water, the clearer it is. You already know this." He gives a slight glare.
"Stop paying attention to the flowers, to the vase, to the air, to the table, to all the things which you neither control nor decide upon." He says. "It begins with you. It ends with you. And the entire in-between is the wilderness. Now, come home."
He says it with fervor. A passion plea...and I'm stricken with adoration.
He reminds me of my very good friend. Always solid. Always sturdy and secure.
But the Alchemist is assured and confident. Overly confident some would say.
He's like fire with how much he cares, although he would never say it with words....
Words would never be able to match his vibrational expression. Not even a chance.
I nod in agreement with him.
There would be nothing better than such.
I catch glimpses of the circle again...in water... in cymatics...
where the waves travel out from the center
and back again to the same center...
and the center remains true and indestructible
immortal...
and where your throne is
where your crown is....
put that motherfucker on
and take a seat
.and if you have to be like Cersie....
own it.
;)
_______________________________
____________________________________
_________________________________________
sooooo......
still reading... I think I'm starting on chapter 24 tonight...
and I realized how perfect things lined up even when I had no idea what or why
I was writing a particular section or conversation...
and it's rather amazing how it just kinda all goes together...
nice....
and I switched one character for another...
which doesn't matter, you didn't know them before...
and they are twins...so you couldn't tell anyway...
haha!
ooohhh...and my characters are growing up... I luvs them...
(as much as they can grow up... they are immortal dragons...soooo)
*shrugs
hmmm....
I get a paycheck tomorrow!
and maybe 2 of them!
YAY MONEY!! $$$$
I love how easily money comes to me.
it's one of my favorite things.
just like flat spots in my back yard
that makes me so happy
the way it just shows up easily and level
and it is so amazing
big giant flat level circle in the yard
the neighbors might think weird things, but that's what makes it awesome!
I love flat spots big enough for big round things full of water!!!
Incredible!
I love the color purple today...with glitter
I love how underestimated C3PO is
I love how sensitive water is to vibration
I love love love that chocolate exists
I love all the aligning numbers that visited me today
I love dull blue colors
I love that the cat is sleeping on my ironing board
I love crowns and all things round and circular
like gold coins, and pools, and silver coins, and coffee cups
I love the color gold
I love the Alchemist's uniform he wears.
and the way he straightens it when someone mentions it
and I love the thought of new paradigms
and new choices
and new centers...
I love little green picks and little discs of wood
I love brass lions and rabbits and apples that are also bells!
I love machinery
and rock solid wealth
I love how black goes with all other colors
I love alignment
and the fact that Amazon delivered groceries from Whole Foods to my door today
for free.
and that I bought some grooming brushes for the dog...
I love sharpies, ones that work especially
and the color green, all greens
and I love that tomorrow is Wednesday and I get a check
get to watch something, and get a Kyle call....
and I love that the number 10 makes the 0 look important
I love that you bothered to read all of that
and I'm off of this computer...
merely to get on the other one and read/edit a few more chapters.
Got stuff to do tomorrow!!!
and if I make it to Target, I will let you know if I find toilet paper!
...
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