the complete incompleteness....

I watch the sun go down like everyone of us...
I'm hoping that dawn will bring a sign...
A better place for those who will come after us...
This time...
I'm just a dreamer...who's searching for the way...today.
I'm just a dreamer...dreaming my life away...

Completeness.....You'd think that this would be filled upon the lips of the brim....you'd think the fullness would pour out from the vessel and cover the earth...spilling out and rushing over like a thousand waterfalls. You'd think that overflowing with being complete would be sufficient.
Alas....not in this life. Or perhaps not yet.
Incompleteness.....you'd think it wouldn't reveal itself so brazenly, so obvious, so unashamed. You'd think that having the one who made you complete would be enough to cover all the incompleteness
Alas....not in this life, not yet.
Somehow it tears through like ravaging pain...always returning after you buried it, burnt it, or set it free. What is it that separates our pieces and scatters them afar....what is this forever longing? What is this eternal need?
The only thing that makes it even harder to bear is once having that completeness...even if only for a moment....and then it gets swept away from you. A brisk and short memory that lingers endlessly upon your thoughts...because it was the only thing that was ever real, if anything should be real.

Have you been there? There in the garden, where He smiles and speaks...and lifts you up into His arms, like you are His only child. Have you seen these things?
Let me tell you....that if you have not....know that you are blessed. Blessed. Blessed to know that you should not have to endure a forever longing to be there again.
And if you have....you suffer as I suffer. A beautiful raging storm of blessed incompleteness. Dying to be alive, because there.....is the only life.

Where do we look here...as we course the trails of dust and bones? Who shall we look for? All this....the wind racing through vibrating leaves and sunlight striking amidst the shadows...waves dancing and skies filled with rumbling lightnings. Whom shall hold us in the dark, while we wait until we meet again? Who shall smile upon our eyes and show us the fiery depths of joy? Who shall laugh with us and cry with us? Who shall it be, who could it be that could ever fill your place? Who can fill all those places? All those placed that are incomplete....
I ask you to send them to me.


Leaves from the vine...falling so slow...
Like fragile, tiny shells, drifting in the foam...
Little soldier boy, come marching home...
Brave soldier boy...comes marching...home.