My world's on fire, how about yours...

Where is the ground?
Is it beneath you?
Deep within the Earth?
Is it where your heart settles in peace?
Ah..dear one...
The ground is within you.
It is you.
It is where you hold firm to the firmament.
To the foundation.
To the particles of matter, and of light.
The kingdom within, where the throne sits in the midst.

And what can break through the walls of this kingdom?
Can the sorrows of the world?
The things sought after, the struggle to 'do'..to achieve?
Can those things shake you from your throne?
Could all the distractions and fears and tasks make you leave home?

Oh..dear one...
They have ripped many kings from their place in heaven.
They have lured out the queens into the desolate ruins.
They have shackled their children and cast aside their heirs.

But you know better.
You know the Master.
And it is only the voice of the Master that you obey.

The tethers they try to bind you with, fall short of your glory.
Tethers that are nothing but fishing hooks, meant to pry you from your chamber.
Tethers that serve as anchors to keep you on your knees.
Tethers, anchors that weigh heavy.
Even the understanding of which are able to hold you captive.
Even your own thoughts can bind you...

You know what they are...dear one.
You know them all because you have severed yourself from them.
And now that you have returned.
They shall never be able to imprison you again.
Never shall the bondage of soul, of mind, of body... hold you.
For while you sit at the throne and remain in the kingdom...
All shall heed your commands.
So rise.
Rise
and speak.

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Even you know what the tethers are...
and I dare you to face them and unbind them from your soul.
You know them...
You've met them when you drive to work in the morning.
You've met them when you take part in an argument.
you've met them when you spoke ill of another.
when you denied yourself...
when you denied yourself...
when you denied others...
when you held someone else responsible.
when you've imposed accountability onto another.
when you casted blame...judged...ignored...
when you closed off your ears, when you turned away,
when you grasped too tightly to the money in your hands.
when you poured out all your frustrations and expected the other soul to fix you
when you expected anything
when you failed to forgive
when you insisted that you must keep playing this game....one that you still think you can win
but you know... the secret to winning the game is to stop playing.
...
that's why I've already won...
I want you to win too...

I want you to stop asking.
I want you to stop all the 'doing'.
I want you to untether yourself.
Unbind yourself.
Free yourself.
I want you to trust...
and I want you to get fucking mad.
Mad as hell.
Because only those fires can burn away the fear.
Mad as ice...
Because only that can shatter your programmed repetitions....
if those things ever worked.... you wouldn't still be doing them...
    how else would you agree to do the same mind numbing tasks over and over and over...
   ...unless you 'thought' it was the way...
You are fucking programmed... You have been lied to...
Thoughts are just thots.
Do not believe them... do not obey them...

Go home.
and fucking get back on your throne.
do it for you.
do it for your children
do it for the kingdom
and for god
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 So ...I found a very fun (still hate that word) and entertaining trigger today!!! YAY!
  (these things are rareAF! and I get excited when they come visit!)
(I feel like a little kid bouncing up and down clapping!! YAY!)
(and I will be sure to include parentheticals along the way! because it messes up the flow,
and life is chaotic!)

 When I die....
if any motherfucker out there says some bullshit eulogy
I will curse you.
I AM NOT KIND OR NICE OR SWEET AND LOVING!
FUCK YOU! 
(if you say that shit, you are a liar, I hate you all, everyone, always..except my kids)
I'm not an amazing artist or some endearing wife and mother.
(if I was, you'd buy my fucking artwork, bitches. Kiss my ass.)
(endearing... I'm a goddess who preordained marrying my twin flame, fuck off. I did it for him, and for me... not for you jackasses. Mother... my kids chose me because they would be allowed to do whatever they wanted and never be burdened with rules. Preordained... love them though)

I am not a compelling writer or a special person.
(no one gives a shit, not even me. If you tell people shit I did I will fucking haunt your ass.... NO ONE FUCKING CARES WHAT ANYONE 'DID'. FUCK YOU.)
(I am special. But not the retarded kind.. but that would be funny if you said that and lied to everyone!!)
I am not funny, or charismatic, or hopeful.
(I will accept full blown made up lies that are completely irrelevant and misleading. *nods)
...

I'm closer to being Thanos than any of that shit.
So don't any of you fucking say that. EVER ..

if you must speak at all...
tell them ---> "She hates all you motherfuckers."
Except my kids.

*little kid me is laughing hysterically while rolling on the floor. She loves it.

Please someone, anyone... please don't let me down.
I really do love everyone...but no... for the record, I hate you all


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I meditated for an hour today...
then another 15 minutes..
then another 15 minutes...
so apparently I have tons to say today!
aren't you lucky

I recently joined a facebook group ...
and now I'm no longer going to be on facebook...
browsing wise...
I'll still messenger chat and sell shit on the marketplace
I only follow like 4 people that are important atm...so I will check their updates...
everyone else is out of luck.
Mainly because.... I am unable to embark on that journey with them.
I will no longer allow those burdens to be imposed upon me.
I can feel it continuously pulling me back... and tethers are meant to be severed.
I do not need fixed.
I do not need help.
I do not need attention, or sales, or guidance, or understanding.
and facebook serves those with every dish... for the starving commoners...
....but I'm royalty.... and unless you are serving me, you too will be severed.

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so I guess I'm totally being harsh today.
but my soul wants to be fire...
she's tired of your shit
tired of your dawdling and hesitant indecision..
... she's tired of my shit too, your not alone, lol
...
ever seen Escaflowne... when Dilandau starts going crazy...
and all he does is rub his scarred cheek and with wild eyes he yells...
"BURN! BURN! BURN!"
yeah...

I'm not getting dragged by the hair...but if I dawdle any longer....
... I'm not brave enough to argue with her... sooo....
..
I want to mention the LION
I want to talk about Mars.
I want to hint at September.
I want to tell you about the Solar Plexus and how it is all fire...
... and even if it can't be defined by google...
... and even if I can't get a straight answer from someone who might have known...
...and even if severing all understanding and labels of such a grand power...
I am left with all the power...
and 'gut instinct' has taken on a whole new meaning
...

yeah, sorry, not sorry that this is so long....
have I started that screenplay yet... fuck no
but I totally will, lol.
something I learned today... my bike will not fit in the back of my 4runner...at least not easily.
something I enjoyed today... meditating, and that bbq I had for dinner
something I hated today... nothing
plans for tomorrow... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!