Had a walk today.
Alone, but not really.
There were plenty of squirrels who weren't paying attention...
and would only jump in surprise when I had practically already passed them.
Yes, I did see one stroking a leaf on a plant... and I'm not sure what exactly was happening..
but he won't read this, so I suppose it's ok to share.
Saw a bunch of bugs and saved a worm from drying out
Found 1 wing of a butterfly.
saw a large fish swimming in the creek, like right at the top.
saw 2 blue herons flying after each other.
saw a large deer... he saw me too and just stood there wagging his tail.
I did stop for him, but some guy walking from the other direction didn't..
so deer stepped like 15 ft into the trees and waited for us to pass...
I'm in the Day-2 zone... and it has neither faded or been forgotten.
I spent the time thinking what exactly I will do with this new version of me.
What will I do, and why will I do those things...
but...
as I walked and saw all that already was, all that already is...
there wouldn't be anything I would add.
nothing I would subtract.
in the very moment of now... there is nothing that needs changed.
it's perfect
and I'm in it
having $100k in the bank....and still I would not need anything more
at this time, I choose to be as it all is...
and be all here...all now...in all ways...
"Everything is taken care of."
A simple sentence that has been playing on repeat in my mind...
a sentence, that alone, silences the urge to reach out and fiddle with things.
mess with the already given perfection...
entangle the already brushed hair.
.....
and I can feel certain parts of my ego...
it wants to be sad, it wants to be disgruntled...that it can't 'get' or 'do' something
~~ but it's not sad, or angry, or anything...
and it stands there confused as to why it's okay with that...
I feel how it looks at Soul...
Ego loves Soul, trusts Soul, and melts into this puddle of unresistance
willingly
Mind still throws out ideas...
pulls out past things and shoves them in my face..
'Remember this? I thought you wanted this? Don't you need this too?'
but Soul smiles and presses those things aside...
Mind watches them fall away and rummages through another box...
'How about this!' Mind holds out something lovely from the storage room...
...and Mind smiles, thinking how there would be no way whatsoever this thing would be discarded...
Soul nods with a smile, and caresses the pretty thing Mind dug out...
"I still like this." Soul says. "But I don't need it right now."
Mind stands dumbfounded and places it back into storage...
Mind races to catch up with Soul... like a child who lingered too far back on the trail...
Soul consoles Mind... assuring them that there will be a need for their services again...
Mind smiles and starts finding random things on the trail that look cool.... like all the dead cicadas.
Back in the now...
I admire Soul's mothering skills... all that peace
and Mind, their passion for their job
and Ego, that desire and drive for the greatest that exists
and these three walk with me....
no one asks anymore, where we are going...
not even why
and 'how' has been utterly erased from the vocabulary
who and what are rarely used as it is...
when.... rides alongside where... and what good are questions...
especially if Soul is driving...
It's a surprise, you'll see when you get there...
...
this makes me laugh...
when we get there...is when we are here...
and here...
and here...
always here... and always now...
there's nowhere to get to...
we are here now
and now is perfect
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I replanted and split some of my plants today...
and I'm aware of the fact we don't currently have enough pots for them.
and I'm equally aware of the reasons my tupperware grows less and less..
So if anyone wants some African Violets... ask... I've got plenty..
and this might have been the only time I didn't take cuttings and propagate any
I'm out of pots, yo... and I can't relinquish any more tupperware bowls!!
I just spent the last hour (maybe 2...) trapped in the youtube loop..
what did I watch, you ask?
1 Rich Dad video
4 or 5 Abraham Hicks vids (which really aren't vids, just talking....)
Millionaire reacts vids....like 3 of them
and Hairstylist reacts to America's next top model makeovers... way more than 3
*insert huge faceplant
so now I want to be a millionaire and have a makeover...
of course, I'm still swallowed up by the water...
the bucket in the water that is completely full...
and when I sit to just feel that...
there's nothing but a current flowing through me...
unending and always full
and this is day 2
just day 2...
there's a cat lying in my lap...
and there are crickets and frogs outside the window chirping their sounds...
and as 1:35 approaches...
even being a millionaire won't change my path
I'm going to sleep! (although I will have a more comfortable bed)
and the makeover won't change who I am...
(but I might not have so much hair in my way)
I'd still have this cat, whom sometimes is a thot...
and the creatures outside would still be there...
still be here...
still
be
HERE
welcome to now
(and if it isn't another lesson from the wolfriders... 'The Now of wolf thought'...)
and like a walk in the forest... all the animals have everything we can't always see
presence
and with that, peace
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